Jack's World

New York Times: To Tithe or Not to Tithe

2012-02-07T20:35:00.000-05:00

It's not everyday that you see an article on tithing in the New York Times - so I thought it was worth noting here. That Episcopal (Anglicans) are at the bottom of the list as far as practicing the tithe. Pentecostals (Assemblies of God) are behind Mormons in tithing.

I was raised in a tradition that really didn't teach tithing. So, that was a hard lesson to learn when I became a follower of Christ. But, with time and encouragement from my pastor, I learned it and I'm glad that I did. My family and I are now dedicated to tithing (giving 10% of my income to the local church where I belong as a member).

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To Tithe or Not to Tithe...

By MICHAEL PAULSON

MITT ROMNEY’S 2010 tax return, along with an estimated version of his 2011 filing, was released on Tuesday and attracted attention for a number of reasons — chief among them his high income and low tax rate. But the disclosure also called attention to his high level of charitable giving — much in the form of donations to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints — in a nation where most donate far less.

Mr. Romney, like other observant Mormons, tithes — that is, each year he gives 10 percent of his income to his church (the percentage is not exact; he appears to tithe based on his estimated income and then to make up for any gap the next year). Tithing is an ancient practice with roots in the Hebrew Bible but is rarely observed now. Mormons are an exception, because their church strongly emphasizes tithing, and considers it among the requirements for entering temples, where the church’s highest sacraments, including marriage, are observed.

Among non-Mormon people of faith in the United States, evangelical Protestants and Pentecostals tend to give the highest percentage of their income to charity, Catholics close to the lowest. “Nonreligious Americans are generally the least generous,” said Christian Smith, a professor of sociology at the University of Notre Dame. “Any religion makes you more likely to engage in voluntary financial giving.” President Obama, a Protestant whose most recent church membership was a mainline congregation, Trinity United Church of Christ in Chicago, gave relatively little to charity a decade ago, but steadily increased his giving as he became more prominent and donated 14 percent of his income in 2010; Newt Gingrich, a onetime Southern Baptist who converted to Catholicism in 2009, gave 2.6 percent of his 2010 income to charity.

Below, a politically timely look at giving to American churches and charities.

Michael Paulson is an assistant metropolitan editor at The New York Times.

New York Times: How to End a Friendship

2012-02-07T19:06:00.000-05:00

Two weeks ago in the Sunday New York Times, I came across this article that I have been thinking about since I read it. It's about how to end a friendship. This is a topic that most have to deal with at some point - but like a lot of things in life, there is no road map.

This got me thinking.

It seems like I had a ton more friends. Maybe I was easier to get along with. Perhaps I outgrew my larger set of friends.

Here's another thought: perhaps my vocation makes it harder to develop friendships outside of a ministry context. I don't think that my profession is the only difficult place to develop friends. But the decisions that you have to make in ministry can sometimes mean that friendships will be lost. That is certainly my experience.

Well, I don't know where I was going with this. This article was certainly thought provoking. This intro of mine may not be all that helpful, but I still think the article below is worth a read.

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January 28, 2012

It’s Not Me, It’s You
How to End a Friendship

By ALEX WILLIAMS

WHEN Jeryl Brunner, a writer in Manhattan, was in her 20s, she had a friend who was just the sort of acquaintance people scoop up in their social net when they are young and trying to carve out a life in a new city. The friend was fun, outgoing and stylish, and always up for a night of dancing at Area, or a weekend jaunt to a Neiman Marcus outlet in New Jersey.

But as Ms. Brunner neared 40, the reasons for their spending time together became less clear. “It’s almost like we were in different movies,” said Ms. Brunner, now 46. “We didn’t connect on this fundamental view of what was important. I don’t obsess about material things. I’m the kind of person, if I had $100, I’d see a play; I’d have an experience. Her sense of joy came from owning a Gucci bag.”

She decided it was time to let her friend go. So Ms. Brunner took the “bad-boyfriend approach” and just stopped calling. After the friend made a few spurned overtures — and after some awkward conversations about why Ms. Brunner was always too busy to get together — the friend got the hint. Years later, however, the breakup still feels unresolved.

“I wish I would have handled it differently,” Ms. Brunner said. “I think you owe it to that person, rather than keeping them guessing.”

Is there a right way to tell a friend it is time to go?

Thanks to Facebook, the concept of “defriending” has become part of the online culture. With a click of a mouse, you can remove someone from your friends roster and never again see an annoying status update or another vacation photo from a person you want out of your life.

Not so in the real world. Even though research shows that it is natural, and perhaps inevitable, for people to prune the weeds from their social groups as they move through adulthood, those who actually attempt to defriend in real life find that it often plays out like a divorce in miniature — a tangle of awkward exchanges, made-up excuses, hurt feelings and lingering ill will.

Even the most omnivorous collectors of friends acknowledge that sometimes it is necessary to cross out some names from their little black book.

Roger Horchow is the Broadway producer made famous in Malcolm Gladwell’s “Tipping Point” as a pre-eminent “connector,” a social web-spinner whose hidden expertise is maintaining a vast network of friends. But even for him, some must fall by the wayside.

People start “dropping ‘starter friends’ from the early bachelor days, or early work associates, or early couples with little children like yours,” said Mr. Horchow, who wrote “The Art of Friendship: 70 Simple Rules for Making Meaningful Connections” (St. Martin’s Press, 2006), with his daughter, Sally.

Psychologists consider it an inevitable life stage, a point where people achieve enough maturity and self-awareness to know who they are and what they want out of their remaining years, and have a degree of clarity about which friends deserve full attention and which are a drain. It is time, in other words, to shed people they collected in their youth, when they were still trying on friends for size.

The winnowing process even has a clinical name: socioemotional selectivity theory, a term coined by Laura L. Carstensen, a psychology professor who is the director of the Stanford Center on Longevity in California. Dr. Carstensen’s data show that the number of interactions with acquaintances starts to decline after age 17 (presumably after the socially aggressive world of high school) and then picks up again between 30 and 40 before starting to decline sharply from 40 to 50.

“When time horizons are long, as they typically are in youth, we’re collectors, we’re explorers, we’re interested in all sorts of things that are novel,” Dr. Carstensen said. “You might go to a party that you don’t want to go to, but know you should — and it’s there you meet your future spouse.”

One thinks of Joan Didion’s essay “Goodbye to All That.” In it, Ms. Didion recalls a cab ride when she was 23 during which she tried to talk an older male friend into accompanying her to a party where there would be “new faces.”

“He laughed literally until he choked,” she wrote. She continued, “It seemed that the last time he had gone to a party where he had been promised ‘new faces,’ there had been 15 people in the room, and he had already slept with five of the women and owed money to all but two of the men.”

This is not, however, an issue that arises only as the temples start to gray. People approaching 30 — many of them dealing with life changes like marriage and a first child — often tend to feel overwhelmed with responsibility, so they lose patience with less meaningful friends, said Dr. Carol Landau, a clinical professor of psychiatry at Brown University’s medical school.

The process does not always have to be painful. Annie Cardi, a 27-year-old author of children’s books in Boston, recently discovered that an old college friend and she were defriending each other simultaneously at a University of Virginia reunion when they were chatting with mutual friends and awkwardly discovered that neither had invited the other to her coming wedding.

“It wasn’t anything personal; we had just grown apart,” Ms. Cardi said. “It was actually a relief to have that conversation. It completely cleared the air, and neither of us left with bad feelings. I know that when I see pictures of her wedding posted on Facebook, I’ll be happy for her.”

But when the impulse is not mutual, it helps to undertake it with careful consideration.

“The first step before you end a friendship is to consider, very carefully and seriously, if you want to end a particular friendship or if you just want to wind it down,” said Jan Yager, a friendship coach and author of “When Friendship Hurts: How to Deal With Friends Who Betray, Abandon, or Wound You” (Simon & Schuster, 2002). “It will usually be a lot more pleasant to just pull away, and stop sharing as much privileged information.”

The passive approach can work, sort of. Marni Zarr, 46, a substitute teacher in Mesa, Ariz., employed it when she decided that a friend she had picked up in parents’ circles was starting to drag her down with her neediness and constant competitiveness. Ms. Zarr gave less of herself in conversations, stopped talking about her feelings, became vaguer about future aspirations.

“I took the route of distancing myself: not immediately answering texts,” she recalled. “I answered the important things, but not the ‘Hey, how are you doing, what’s up tonight?’ ones.”

While the passive approach worked, ultimately (slowly, the friend started to behave less like an intimate and more like a casual acquaintance), Ms. Zarr felt guilty about sentencing her ex-friend to a painful round of self-doubt.

“She went to friends of ours and asked: ‘Do you know what’s going on? Is Marni upset with me?’ ” Ms. Zarr recalled. “The friends just said, ‘Oh no, she’s just really busy.’ I was. Anyone can be busy. But when you really want to have people around, you make time for them, even if it’s a few minutes.”

Mr. Horchow, who at 83 has been carefully adding and dropping friends since Franklin Roosevelt was president, prefers the gentlemanly approach.

“At any age, dropping a friend is a delicate matter and should be handled kindly,” he said. “You don’t want to have to make a pronouncement that your friendship is declining or over; you don’t want to have to say anything. If asked why you haven’t seen each other for a while, be vague. ‘I’m just so busy’ or ‘I’m traveling a lot.’ ”

Indeed, honesty may not be the best policy, Dr. Landau of Brown said: “Remember that white lies are O.K. in the service of not hurting feelings.”

The passive approach works with friendships in which the bonds are tenuous, said Jeff Newelt, a social media consultant in Manhattan. In his line of work, he considers it his job to make friends, but a couple of years ago, decided he needed to prune the overgrowth.

His solution was to divide his social base into two categories: “linear” friends (lasting relationships based on a deep connection) and “nonlinear” (situational friends based only on shared past experience, like an old job).

“I had some work friends where we used to go out after work, to blow off steam, for the sake of bonding as a team or because someone was my superior,” Mr. Newelt, 40, recalled. “After I left, these people still pursued my friendship. I did not hate them. I liked them. So I dropped them. Not harshly, because I like them; I did not want to hurt feelings. I just said I had other plans when they asked me to hang out, each time, time and time again, repeatedly, and they got the point. There was no conversation, no gnashing and wailing.”

But not all friends (or ex-friends) will go easily. By the time she was in her mid-30s, Carolyn Miller, an office manager in Norwalk, Conn., found herself unwilling to put up with an old friend’s domineering ways, so eventually she sent her an e-mail listing her grievances and asking for space. The friend called her and begged her to reconsider. Ms. Miller stood her ground.

A few weeks later, when Ms. Miller’s grandfather died, the friend sent her a letter saying, oddly, that he had been a wonderful veteran (he had never been in the service), and not long after that, an invitation to her wedding. When Ms. Miller sent back the enclosed card declining the invitation, the friend called her and asked why.

During that call, Ms. Miller knew it was time to administer the friendship equivalent of the lethal injection. “I wish you love, joy, peace and happiness, but this friendship is over,” Ms. Miller recalled saying. “I said goodbye and hung the phone up. I met another friend for drinks that night and honestly, I was sad. I divorced a friend.”

Dorree Lynn, a psychologist in Washington, recalled that one woman she pulled away from because she felt they no longer shared the same values responded by spreading gossip in their social circle.

“There were rumors about me, that I had become a snob,” she said. “It was brutal.”

TO avoid backbiting and lingering bad feelings, many relationship experts recommend the same sort of direct approach that one would employ in a romantic breakup. To get around nagging questions, an honest letter, or even an e-mail, is the minimum (forget texting; that’s just cruel). A heartfelt face-to-face talk is better, said Erika Holiday, a clinical psychologist in Encino, Calif., who has discussed relationship issues on television shows like “Dr. Phil.”

“Schedule a time where you can sit down with them,” Dr. Holiday said. “It’s not about putting the other person down, but telling them, ‘You don’t fit into my life, you’re not on same path as me.’ ”

A trial separation can soften the blow.

“You might also want to suggest a cooling-off, or a revisiting your friendship in X number of weeks or months,” said Dr. Yager, the friendship coach. “Your former friend will probably put more time and energy into the other friendships that are working and will forget about contacting you in time.”

Such a direct approach ultimately may be effective, but it still engenders the same pain and awkwardness as an actual breakup, said Erika Johnson, a blogger who lives outside Boston. A couple of years ago, she found herself running a cost-benefit analysis of a friendship from her early 20s that was starting to grind her down.

Every new choice she made in her life — whether it was to return to graduate school or move to the suburbs — was greeted with dismissive scorn by the friend. Ms. Johnson decided to end the relationship with a telephone call.

“My main point was that life is very short and fleeting, and I value my happiness enough to eradicate the negative energy,” Ms. Johnson recalled. For months, the ex-friend continued to try to contact her. Ms. Johnson felt terrible, especially as mutual friends would tell her about the pain she had caused the woman.

Eventually, however, the reports from the mutual friends started to change in tenor. The old friend had been doing a lot of soul-searching after the breakup, they said. The mutual pain might have been worth it, Ms. Johnson concluded — to the point where she might consider another attempt at friendship with her.

Which raises this question: is a friendship ever really over?

More than a decade before social networking Web sites introduced “defriending” into the vernacular, Scott Laing, a strength and conditioning coach in Toronto, attempted it in real life. He had enjoyed going to bars and pool halls with a certain friend when he was in his 20s, but now thought he and the man were growing apart. As an endgame tactic, Mr. Laing, now 46, seized on an extended trip to Europe as an opportunity to put both physical and emotional distance between the two of them. He sent a couple of postcards over the course of three months, then nothing. It was over, he thought.

Last spring, however, he was surprised to find that the friend was reaching out, for the first time in 15 years. He friended him on Facebook.

accidental souvenirs for the kids

2012-02-03T22:48:00.002-05:00

My makeshift workspace / lunch area on a recent United flight home to Pittsburgh

I travel for work. Have been doing it for a while now. And since I've been a Dad, I've been quite committed to buying a souvenir for my daughters to let them know I've been thinking of them while I was out of town. (It's true. I've got pictures of them in my journal so I can see them as I pray and reflect on my day.)

And a few trips ago, I just realized that a lot of my labors in the souvenir shopping department have been in vain. Lest we forget the "North Carolina t-shirt incident of 2009." I bought Ainsley a grey t-shirt that said "North Carolina" on it. She stared at it and gave me a half smile. Clearly, I didn't do this correctly.

So, I was on a very tight schedule on my return trip to Pittsburgh. My layover (and lunch break) was cut short because of a late arrival. I had just enough time to sprint to the gate in between flights and I made it in time so I could get home. I also didn't have time to shop for the souvenirs I was hoping to buy for the kids.

Instead of lunch, I settled on a $7 snack box offered on United Airlines. I devoured most of it (various crackers and cheeses) and set a few of the other items aside for the kids: marinated olives, a bag of almonds and some hummus in a tube. I brought those home to the kids and they were ecstatic. They ran around the house in excitement. I didn't have the heart to tell them that there was a whole half of this snack box missing because I was so hungry. They packed their little souvenirs into their lunch boxes and were so happy to tell their friends I bought it for them on the plane ride home.

On this last trip, I came home with mini pouches of Oreos and Pepperidge Farm Milano cookies that I got from the US Airways Club. You would have thought I told them we were going to Disney World. I didn't think that little airplane treats could be so meaningful to my kids but I am so glad that it made their day.

INFOGRAPHIC: inside a toddler's brain

2012-01-26T12:04:00.003-05:00

Sorry, but priests were "Tebowing" before Tebow

2012-01-22T20:28:00.000-05:00

It's nearly Christmas, and I'm healthy. I could totally get used to this.

2011-12-23T09:57:00.000-05:00

It's nearly Christmas and I'm healthy. I could totally get used to this.

For quite a long time now, I suffer from pneumonia around Easter and Christmas. For as long as I've been in ministry, it's just happened that way. Last year, I thought I was in the clear since I was relatively healthy at Christmas. What happened instead was that I merely postponed the pneumonia until about mid-January. Something had to give.

Part of the issue was that I've been in bi-vocational ministry for a long time now. Juggling ministry and an outside career is challenging on a daily basis. But when the holidays come around, it's exponentially harder on the body and on the family.

I've been in Pittsburgh since Sept. 1st. And I've been working one job. That's right. One job!

That has made an enormous difference. Not that the work isn't demanding. But, I'm free to take vacation time for vacation. What has been true for me in the past has been taking vacation time from one job in order to apply it to the other (like taking vacation time from my newspaper job so that I could go to a denominational conference for a week). Now if that isn't robbing Peter to pay Paul, I don't know what is.

So this Christmas, one of the gifts to me and my family is that, barring any emergencies, I plan to take 11 days off in a row. So, what is that you're supposed to do on this thing called "vacation"?

Maybe I'll start with this prayer:
Lord, help me to celebrate your birth.
Lord, help me to experience your joy in this season.
Lord, help me to relax and enjoy everything around me that comes from you.

my hardest thing this year ... or ever

2011-12-21T20:39:00.002-05:00

Hadley giving me a thumbs-up after her surgery - having enormous Alvin and the Chipmunks in the hallway was something she loved seeing on our walks through the pediatric floor.

In February, my dear little Hadley underwent major surgery -- she had a tonsillectomy and adenoidectomy. She had trouble breathing especially when sleeping. After much prayer and reflection, my wife and I decided that we might as well have her go through the surgery when she's young and can bounce back a bit easier which is a bit more difficult the longer you wait.

I volunteered for what would be the hardest thing I've had to do this year ... or ever in my life so far. One parent can go into the operating room with the child and to stay with her until the general anesthetic kicks in. I knew that I had to do this for Hadley. To be with her, to bless her, and to reassure her that everything will be OK and to stay until it was time for the surgery to begin.

God willing, I'll never have to do that again. I have never felt this helpless before. I watched as my daughter breathed through a mask normally until she went to "sleep." As her father, I went completely numb watching her on the operating table. You never want to see your kid like that. That vulnerable. Ever.

But I knew deep down that Hadley needed this operation. However, it didn't make it easier at all. One of the nurses escorted me out of the Operating Room and I was just standing in the hallway. Feeling lost in a hospital that I've been in a million times before as a pastor visiting his parishioners. This time, I was just Hadley's father and not "Father Jack." It took me a minute or two to come back to earth and then I realized that I was in the way. I found the nearest stairway and I completely lost it. I prayed for Hadley and for the surgeon and his team that all would go well.

A few hours later, Hadley came out of the Operating Room and went to Recovery. It was a tough day or so in the hospital but I could see my dear little Hadley coming back to us. Even as Hadley was recovering, she gave me a thumbs-up in the little wagon I had to cart her around in on the children's floor. The thumbs-up - which I know she got from me - is her signature photo pose. It's how I know she's OK and having fun.

So, in the same hospital where Hadley was born, three years later we're back for a major surgery. And taking her home from the hospital this second time around was just as joyful as the first time. In reflecting on 2011, this is probably the hardest thing I've had to do this year ... or maybe ever in my life so far.

October and November catch up

2011-12-21T19:58:00.000-05:00

OCTOBER
I started October by taking a red-eye flight on Friday night from Seattle to JFK to Pittsburgh so that I could be home early Saturday morning for my wife and kids. This was on the heels of a very packed 9 days that included 2 bishops being consecrated, 4 priests ordained and a College of Bishops meeting.

I had 3 days off at home before taking off to Cairo for a missions consultation for Sudan (more here and here). I got home and crashed hard after a wonderfully exhilarating trip. I was quite glad to return to the US where I gobbled up a bacon cheeseburger on a layover in JFK - something tough to find in Cairo.

Attended and participated in my first Anglican Relief and Development Fund trustee meeting as a National Trustee. (Thankfully, this was held at a hotel just a few minutes away from my house - it was a huge help in getting over some massive jet lag!)

NOVEMBER

Flew to Victoria, British Columbia to represent Archbishop Duncan at the Anglican Network in Canada Synod. It was my honor to bring greetings for the Archbishop and to meet leaders from our church in Canada. It was a joyful time in a beautiful place with great people.

Got a few days off before flying to Dallas for Forward in Faith Council Meeting. It was another great opportunity to represent Archbishop Duncan at this gathering. I was only in Dallas area for one night to be here for a 2 day meeting. I'm starting to get used to this fly in - head to the meeting - fly out routine.

The rest of the month was the start of my stretch at home - no anticipated travel until mid-January. It was so great to finally settle in at home!

Wrapped up the end of the month with Thanksgiving and 7 days off ... in a row! This has been a tough commodity to come by in my former work as a solo, bi-vocational pastor. It took me no adjustment time at all to get into the groove of vacation as it has been a very long time in coming.

15 Sundays off in a row

2011-11-28T19:46:00.000-05:00

August 15th was my last Sunday serving as the Senior Pastor of a local church. Since that time, I have taken leadership responsibilities in my denomination - the Anglican Church in North America - serving as the Provincial Canon to the Archbishop. (More info here and here)

I have had 15 Sundays off in a row from regular leadership in worship. I fully anticipated that this would be a difficult transition. One of the greatest honors I have as a minister of the Gospel is to preach and teach the Word of God to the people of God. Not being behind the pulpit as a preacher or the altar as a priest on a regular basis has been a tough adjustment.

However, there is a huge blessing attached to this difficulty. Though I have been out of the presider's chair, that means I have been in the same pew with my wife and kids. This is totally uncharted territory for all of us. I have forgotten what it's like sitting in the pew and my family has never known me to be in the same row with them in worship.

I hope and pray that as the weeks go on, it will be easier to accept this reality. Until then, it will be good to reconnect as a parishioner for a time with my family sitting right there with me!

Call me boring, but...

2011-11-27T21:33:00.001-05:00

First, this is me carving the Thanksgiving turkey this year without incident.

And, that's me sporting my newish bracelet from Kiel James Patrick. I've had it since the summer and it's something different for me in my "off duty" attire.

This is probably how I'll be wearing this bracelet.

This fall, I noticed a huge ad roll out for Eau de Prep cologne by Tommy Hilfiger. Notice the guy all the way to the right wearing my same bracelet. I had lots of patterns to choose from and I happened to go with this same one - mostly because I love red and blue.

You will not ever be finding me wearing my bracelet, with a sweater around my neck.

Call me boring, but ...

it was a nice run while it lasted

2011-11-21T15:30:00.000-05:00

It was a very nice run while it lasted - I was the same size in the shirt collar department for about 17 years.

Chalk it up to getting older, my metabolism slowing down, bad luck or whatever ... it's just a fact of my life right now.

It's just as well, a lot of my black clergy shirts were fading out after wearing them for at least 11 years. It was a nice run while it lasted - now CM Almy (my favorite clergy outfitter) is reaping all the benefits of my larger neck size with a flurry of orders to replace my now too tight ministry wardrobe.

for the love of turkey

2011-11-16T14:44:00.000-05:00

A rite of passage for the married man - carving up a turkey in your own house with the in-laws present for holiday dinner.

Alvy Singer to Annie Hall:
"What did you do, grow up in a Norman Rockwell painting?"

One of my favorite lines in the movie Annie Hall. I did not grow up in a Noman Rockwell painting which is probably why the holidays were and are so awkward for me.

I don't have a lot of memories of the big Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners growing up - some vague recollections of nice plates and gold plated silverware coming out every so often. But not the organized dinners involving "kiddie tables" (or "auxiliary table" as I like to call it because I'm really too old to be sitting at the "kiddie table") because the dining room table is maxed out like my wife's family is used to. In fact, until we started dating in 16 years ago, I hadn't really been at a regular Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner.

Thanksgiving as a young adult was at the Denny's in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. It was at college for freshman and sophomore years. It would be me with my books and the Thanksgiving feast that consisted of:

- pressed turkey
- powdered "mashed" potatoes and gravy
- cranberry sauce out of a can (still my favorite side dish to this very day!)
- frozen dinner roll and the individually wrapped pat of butter
- foodservice stuffing
- cigarette smoke wafting over from the Denny's Lounge (do they even have those anymore?)

All this for the low price of about $7 and I didn't have to do the dishes!

I love the food served at Thanksgiving and Christmas - even if my association with it is more from Norman Rockwell paintings instead of actually being a participant at these dinners growing up.

But without fail, over the last 16 years, I've grown to love the Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners we share as an immediate and extended family. Even though it wasn't a part of my growing up, I'm grateful that the daily evening meal as a family and the large scale extended family meals have become normative for my kids.

What touched off some of these memories for me in college was probably lunch today. There's a cafe near my office and they publish their menus for the whole week. I would be lying if I didn't say I wasn't looking forward to today's Thanksgiving lunch - served in the very festive cardboard to go container...

Remembrance Day

2011-11-11T09:52:00.001-05:00

From the Telegraph UK - how poppies symbolise Remembrance Day.

This is me wearing my Remembrance Day poppy - picked it up on my last trip to Victoria, BC Canada.

And here is the poem that inspired poppies for Remembrance Day:

"In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
...
"We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

"Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields."

For us in the US, this is Veterans Day. In the US, UK and Canada, this is a great day to remember those who have served so honorably in the armed forces.

Anglican Church Represented at Sudan Mission Partners Meeting in Cairo

2011-10-28T08:04:00.001-04:00

news via Anglican Church in North America

Photo caption: (From left to right) Canon Jack Lumanog, Bishop Samaan Farjalla Mahdi, Bishop Ezekiel Kondo, Bishop Ismail Gebriel Abu Digin, and Canon Nancy Norton, outside All Saints Cathedral in Cairo, Egypt.

Anglican Church Represented at Sudan Mission Partners Meeting in Cairo

Canon Jack Lumanog and Canon Nancy Norton Work Toward Peace in the Sudan

On October 5-6 in Cairo, Egypt, bishops from the Diocese of Egypt and dioceses in the north of Sudan held a meeting of reflection and planning with several mission partners, including the Anglican Church in North America and the Anglican Relief and Development Fund. This important meeting was held for the benefit of discussing the challenges and needs facing the suffering northern dioceses of the Province of the Episcopal (Anglican) Church of Sudan. Upon completion of this meeting, the partners in mission with Sudan released an official communique stating the challenges facing this region, their specific needs, and the top priorities of the partners in mission in order to implement lasting peace in the Sudan.

To read the communique, click here.

Bishop Mouneer Anis invited Canon Nancy Norton, Executive Director, Anglican Relief and Development Fund, and The Ven. Canon Dr. Jack Lumanog, Canon for Provincial and Global Mission for the Anglican Church, to join him in this consultation on mission for Sudan with Sudanese bishops, Bread for the World, Church Missionary Society Ireland, Michael Nazir-Ali, Church of England Bishop and President, Oxford Center for Training, Research, Advocacy and Dialogue, and Dean Kuan Kim Seng of the Province of South East Asia.

Canon Jack described his recent trip to Egypt: "As I visited Jesus Light of the World Anglican Church in Old Cairo and word of the clash between Coptic Christians and the military was just getting out, the resident priest made this statement: 'Canon Jack, pray for us because we are suffering in Egypt physically. And Anglican Christians in Egypt will pray for you as you are suffering spiritually and theologically in America.' Being able to see our brothers and sisters in Cairo gave me a clearer picture of what it is like ministering as a minority faith in Africa. The challenges to the Gospel are great, but our Lord Jesus Christ is greater."

The Anglican Church Continues Support of Sudan

Through the Anglican Relief and Development Fund, the Anglican Church in North America has been quick in the past to call for prayer and provide financial relief to the Sudan. There also has been mutual support given between the Anglican Church and bishops in the Sudan.

Through its participation in this consultation, the Anglican Church in North America was able to be with the bishops of Sudan to hear first-hand of their joys and sorrows and to pray with them in receiving the Lord's wisdom on the way forward for the provinces to work together. The bishops shared projects of relief and development which needed financial assistance. As a National Trustee for ARDF, Canon Jack was able to receive and present these project reports at the ARDF Trustees meeting that took place in Pittsburgh following the Cairo meeting. The ARDF Trustees are working on connecting these projects with the needed financing.

"Our Province has been blessed to be invited to this Missions Consultation by Bishop Mouneer Anis of the Diocese of Egypt. Bishop Mouneer is a good friend of the Province and a supporter of what we are doing in reaching North America with the transforming love of Jesus Christ," said Canon Jack.

"As we have been blessed as a Province, we are doing our part to be a blessing to our brothers and sisters who are facing incredible challenges to survive physically and spiritually. Thanks to Bishop Mouneer, it was a great honor representing the Province with Canon Nancy Norton to our ministry partners in Egypt and Sudan. Our prayers are with the bishops of Sudan and with Bishop Mouneer as he is being used by the Lord mightily in bringing healing and reconciliation to Egypt," continued Canon Jack.

Pittsburgh is the only US city to make Natl Geographic's Top 20 2012 Travel Destinations

2011-10-27T08:17:00.000-04:00

Wow, Pittsburgh is the only US city to make National Geographic's Top 20 2012 Travel Destinations list. This is an amazing endorsement:

"...a natural setting that rivals Lisbon and San Francisco."

OK, I've been to San Francisco. I can kind of agree a little bit with that statement. But, I've been to Lisbon, Iowa and I think Pittsburgh has it beat by a mile. Oh wait, unless National Geographic was talking about Lisbon, Portugal. In that case, I've not been to Portugal so I'll have to take Nat Geo at its word there.

The piece from Nat Geo follows below or click here with the other cities featured.

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Extreme Metropolitan Makeover

Three rivers. One reinvented city. On all counts, the Steel City's transformation over the past quarter century qualifies as revolutionary. Its mourning for its industrial past long concluded, this western Pennsylvania city changed jobs and reclaimed its major assets: a natural setting that rivals Lisbon and San Francisco, a wealth of fine art and architecture, and a quirky sense of humor.

Pittsburgh's century-wide swath of architectural styles persuaded British film director Christopher Nolan to use downtown as a stand-in for Gotham City in this summer's Dark Knight Rises. Sustainable design has transformed Victorian landmarks like the glass-domed Phipps Conservatory and created contemporary ones like the swooping waterfront convention center (above).

on "illegals"

2011-10-26T10:35:00.000-04:00

(This is probably a good time to remind everyone reading this blog that the opinions expressed here are my own.
Here's the long form statement:
The opinions expressed on this site are the opinions of the participating user. Church acts only as a passive conduit for the online distribution and publication of user-submitted material, content and/or links and expressly does not endorse any user-submitted material, content and/or links or assume any liability for any actions of the participating user.)

I've known for a very long time that our family was different from our Italian and Irish neighbors in Hoboken, New Jersey.

I have a very early memory of finding my Dad's "green card." I was a bit troubled because it said "RESIDENT ALIEN" above his photograph.

The only alien I knew of at that time was "E.T." and the government was pretty dedicated to catching him. (I was pretty disappointed that my Dad could not make my bike fly in the air like E.T. did for Elliot. He wasn't that kind of alien.)

When I was in the 4th grade, my Dad took me and my younger sister to The Philippines. After a pretty long visit with my extended family, we returned to the U.S. through JFK. At Customs, my sister and I had to go through a line by ourselves (me, a 4th grader holding the hand of my sister, a 2nd grader) because we had blue U.S. passports. My Dad had a brown passport from The Philippines and he had to go through a much longer line for "RESIDENT ALIENS." I also noticed that my Dad's line didn't seem to move - at all. My Dad's line at Customs was like the lines at Disney World but with no fun ride at the end worth waiting for.

My sister and I cleared Customs with no trouble at all. Well, except for the blank staring I gave the Customs agent who kept asking me "Do you have anything to declare?" I had no idea what she was asking me and my Dad was in a completely different line. My strategy was to just keep staring until something happened. She finally just waved us through probably out of pity. We had to wait for my Dad to get through the "RESIDENT ALIEN" line. He finally emerged and we went home with our "Alien" father.

Watching the last Republican presidential debate in Las Vegas must have stirred up these memories from my childhood. Almost all the candidates kept referring to "illegals." It troubled me so very much. The idea that a human being would refer to another human being as "illegal" just doesn't sit well with me. Something can be illegal or unlawful - but not a person. Dehumanizing people is just part of the political process - but something in my spirit keeps crying out, "This is not the Lord's way."

By the way, my parents are "RESIDENT ALIENS" no more. They have blue U.S. passports just like their kids - have had for quite some time now. All of us are contributing to society, paying our taxes, voting and owning stuff - you know, the American dream.

The last few years, the political discourse has taken a demonize or dehumanize tactic when it comes to the subject of immigration. Agree or disagree - that is a part of our freedom as Americans. Just don't demonize or dehumanize an entire segment of the population by calling them "illegals." A person can't be "illegal." Their behavior may be "illegal" - but the person is not "illegal."

my last 3 days in Cairo

2011-10-25T16:16:00.003-04:00

This blog post is mostly pictures of my last 3 days in Cairo, Egypt. I was in Cairo for a missions consultation for Sudan representing the Archbishop of the Anglican Church in North America.
On my last full day in Cairo (Sunday, October 9, 2011), a horribly bloody riot took place in front of the building of the Egyptian TV station. At least 25 died and hundreds were injured when Coptic Christians clashed with military. What began as a peaceful protest ended in a smoky haze that claimed the lives of those calling for justice in an earlier church bombing north of Cairo which the government did little if anything to investigate.
Reuters has a pretty decent article chronicling the clash here.
The missions consultation was a fruitful gathering. There is talk of a follow-up in Spring 2012. If needed, I will return. My heart was filled with joy and broken all at the same time when I met with the people of the Diocese of Egypt and the various Dioceses in the Anglican Province of Sudan. I rejoice with my brothers and sisters in Africa because of their faithfulness to Christ and His Gospel.

My heart was broken at the overwhelming physical and spiritual needs in Africa. When news of Sunday's riot was coming out, I was between 2 church services at Jesus Light of the World Anglican Church in Old Cairo. We had just left an amazing service for a congregation of mostly deaf children. I was in tears for most of the service. What a joyful group of believers in the midst of such difficulty. Rev. Faraj asked me to give the benediction. Because of the deep tone in my voice, many of the children reported that they could "hear" me because of the vibrations they could feel in their chest as I gave the blessing in English which was translated into Arabic sign language.

After the service for the children, we entered the old church for the Arabic service. News of the riot of the military clashing with the Coptic Christians started to reach those in the Arabic service shortly after we arrived. As my counterpart in Egypt (chaplain to Bishop Mouneer) and I left the service early to return to the Diocesan Guesthouse, the priest leading the service said:

"Canon Jack - pray for us in Egypt. We are suffering physically here. We will pray for you in America because you are suffering theologically and spiritually." That hit me like a freight train.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Tahrir Square - the focal point for the Egyptian Revolution in January 2011 and near the riot of October 2011 where Coptic Christians were attacked

Bishop Picenti of Helwan and El-Maasara distributing bread and blessings to the Coptic faithful gathering around the center of the monastery community

St. Barsoum El-Erian Monastery in Cairo, Egypt - Coptic Orthodox Patriarchate

Saturday afternoon traffic around the Citadel in Cairo

Sunday, October 9, 2011
My friend and I walked past where all this took place late last night - all this happened in the same spot this evening.

The military tanks parked out in front of the Egyptian TV station building - this was taken early Sunday morning on a walk along the Nile. The riots would take place around 6pm Sunday night.

A pic from an early Sunday morning walk along the Nile.

with The Most Rev. Dr. Mouneer Hanna Anis, President Bishop (Primate) of the Episcopal / Anglican Province of Jerusalem and the Middle East, and Bishop of the Episcopal / Anglican Diocese of Egypt with North Africa and the Horn of Africa

After the English worship service at the Anglican Cathedral in Cairo, I had a brief meeting with Bishop Mouneer Anis. It was Bishop Mouneer who convened the missions consultation for Sudan and I took an opportunity to greet him on behalf of Archbishop Robert Duncan of the Anglican Church in North America and to hear his heart for continued mission together in the global Anglican family.

On Sunday night around 6pm, we were on the way to church. My friend was driving and he took a different route that completely bypassed where and when the clash was just getting started. Had he not taken a detour to avoid the traffic, we would have been caught up in all of it.

As this clash was taking place, we were at church praying, singing, sharing Holy Communion and then when word spread of this incident, we immediately began to pray for peace for all involved.

Rev. Faraj invites one of the children to pray at the close of the service for the children's deaf congregation

Rev. Faraj interprets for me as I give the final blessing for the children's service

The traffic on the way out of Old Cairo once the news of the riot began to spread

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Monday, October 10, 2011

Aziz points out where the bloody riot took place - right in front of the Egyptian TV station.
I had just walked past the building earlier Sunday morning.

The next morning around 6:45am - a haze over where the riot took place about 12 hours earlier.

An eerily quiet Monday morning on the streets of Cairo on the way to the airport.

I was on my plane back to America as scheduled. I was not sure if the riot the night before would affect air travel out of Cairo. Planes were taking off and landing as scheduled. But the streets of Cairo were very quiet - a rare sight in a city of 20 million people.

I did get to sleep on the plane on Monday morning for the first time since getting up early Sunday morning for church. I just could not sleep at all while the riots were taking place. Mostly out of sadness for the Coptic Christians who are under attack and for the helplessness they are expressing to the world about trying to live and worship peacefully as a minority faith in Egypt.

Though there was anxiety and fear in the air, I am amazed by the "uneasy peace" I was feeling throughout my time in Cairo. There is so much about this amazing city that literally took my breath away. I've been in dangerous places before, but not quite like this. But through it all, I had this "uneasy peace" - my flesh was a bit anxious, but my spirit was at peace knowing that my days are numbered and I am walking in the Lord's will by being in Cairo.

If there is a call to return to Egypt, I will go. There is something quite special about the place and the people there who now occupy a special place in my heart.

Pastor Tullian Tchividjian on dealing with conflict in his church

2011-10-25T09:33:00.000-04:00

Pastor Tullian Tchividjian with his grandfather, the great Dr. Billy Graham

As a pastor, it's tempting to think that you're the only one ever to endure hardship for the sake of the Gospel. (Except for that St. Paul guy ... he had it pretty bad.)
How about this from Pastor Tullian Tchividjian. He's even a grandson of Billy Graham. Yes, that Billy Graham. You think he might be given a pass since he's related to an evangelical giant.

Tullian Tchividjian had to do what most pastors just aren't up to doing - follow a founding pastor of a church. And not just any founding pastor - a founding pastor with beloved status. Tullian Tchividjian followed Dr. D. James Kennedy at Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church in Ft. Lauderdale, FL.

The conflict in the church started out with criticisms about Tchividjian not wearing an academic robe like the late Dr. Kennedy. Then other critics came out with Tchividjian not preaching politics from the pulpit like the late Dr. Kennedy. Then the gathering storm... here is some of it in his own words.

It was tremendously uncomfortable coming to worship every Sunday morning during that time not knowing who liked you and who hated you. There were people in the choir who, when I would stand up to preach, would get up and walk out. People would sit in the front row and just stare me down as I preached. It was extremely uncomfortable. People would grab me in the hallway between services and say, "You're ruining this church, and I'm going to do everything I can to stop you." I would come out to my car and it would be keyed. Some people would stop at nothing to intimidate.
They put petitions on car windows during the worship service. They started an anonymous blog, which was very painful. Here we were trying to build consensus and there's this anonymous blog fueling rumors and lies. The blog almost ruined my wife's life. Anonymous letters were sent out to the entire congregation with accusations and character assassinations. It was absolutely terrible.

...
The shelling got so bad I thought to myself this was a huge mistake. Two churches are ruined now. I could hardly eat, had trouble sleeping, and was continually battling nausea. I felt at the absolute end of myself.
....

But then I started thinking, why does this bother me so much? Yes, I have people writing nasty things about me, lying about me, spreading rumors about my team. They're after power. And they're not getting it, and these are the tactics they're using. But why does that bother me so much? I remember saying to God in that moment, "Just give me my old life back." And he said, "It's not your old life you want back. It's your old idols you want back. And I love you too much to give them to you."
LEADERSHIP: There's been a lot of talk about how the gospel is for Christians. Have we forgotten that the gospel is for pastors too?

Pastor Tullian: Yes! I mean it has to be for pastors first. There's absolutely no way that our people will experience the liberating now-power of the gospel if the pastor doesn't even know what the liberating now-power of the gospel looks like.

... You inevitably face crises, slander, unfair criticism, pressure to perform in your professional and personal life. You have to have a model marriage. You've got to have the model children. You've got to be the one logging hours of private prayer every day. I mean there is heavy-duty pressure on pastors to be spiritual giants. What I love about the freeing, liberating power of the gospel is I can stand up on a Sunday morning without fear or reservation and be able to identify my own idols in front of my people. I'll say things like, "I hate to admit this, but part of my motivation for preparing the sermon that I am preaching today is because I want you to think I'm a good preacher. It accentuates my sense of worth." Is that embarrassing to admit? Absolutely! But it's incredibly liberating. I don't have to feel like I have to always be on, that I always have to be performing well, that every sermon's got to be a homerun, that I've got to be modeling perfect piety before all of our people. The pressure's off. Jesus measured up so I wouldn't have to live under the enslaving pressure of measuring up for others. And that's good news.

Read the rest here. Lots of great lessons for pastors needing to lead through change especially while weathering conflict.

finding a church home

2011-10-23T21:52:00.004-04:00

Church of the Ascension in Pittsburgh, PA - one of the churches our family has visited in the last 10 Sundays

This past Sunday is now the 10th Sunday in a row where I have not had the responsibility of preaching or presiding at worship. As a pastor, this has been a tough transition. I'm still in ministry serving the Anglican Church in North America, but I am not assigned to a local congregation. So, my wife and I taking this new assignment as an opportunity and do something we've never done in our 13 years of marriage - finding a church home together.

Knowing that no church is perfect, I've been running through this list as we've been visiting churches as a family:
1) Was Christ exalted? (in the message, music, reading of Scripture, Holy Communion)
2) Was I challanged in my journey with Christ?
3) Is the church reaching out to the community - not just serving members and attenders?
4) Is the church welcoming to newcomers?
5) Was my family ministered to overall?
6) Is there an opportunity for me and my family to serve at this church?
I'm resisting calling this "church shopping" because it just screams consumerism. In this process, the challenge has been not to think as a consumer where sometimes "service" in church really means "serve us" (the consumer) when you get right down to it.

So far, we've visited 4 churches in the Anglican Dicoese of Pittsburgh where I am canonically resident as a priest. After each visit, I've had to press through the superficial stuff and not ask "What can this church do for me?" Instead, I've had to step back and pray about how I might be blessed to be a blessing to this church for this time we are in Pittsburgh on this ministry assignment.

a little Anglican humo(u)r

2011-10-19T08:30:00.000-04:00

A little Anglican humo(u)r ... here are some of the official and unofficial duties for the Bishop's Chaplain.

jumping in with both feet

2011-09-16T11:41:00.000-04:00

If you've read this blog with any regularity, you probably have figured out that jumping in with both feet is all I know how to do.

with Archbishop Ducnan last weekend at Truro Church in Fairfax, VA - had the great privilege of serving as his Chaplain for the service of investiture for a new Bishop

So, here I am in Pittsburgh. September so far has largely been a blur. We were in transit from Lansing, MI to Pittsburgh, lived out of a suitcase for a few days while the contents of our house were on a truck to our new place in Pennsylvania. Still living out of that suitcase while we sorted (and by "we" I really mean, my wife) through the contents of those boxes.
In the midst of all that, I even snuck in a few days at the office because quite a few things were piling up and needed to be attended to with pending travel on the horizon. Like this:
* a 2 day trip to Asheville, NC

* a 2 day trip to Fairfax, VA for the installation of a new Bishop (here's a write-up of the service)

After all this, it's 2 weeks at home before I do this:
* 9 days on the road: Fresno, CA -- > San Jose, CA -- > Seattle, WA -- > Sumas, WA -- > Seattle, WA and then back to Pittsburgh
(In the middle of all that, 2 Bishops will have been consecrated in Fresno and Seattle, 4 priests ordained in San Jose and a College of Bishops meeting in Sumas, WA.)

Then, I get 2 days at home before this:
* 5 or 6 days in Cairo, Egypt to represent the Anglican Church in North America and Archbishop Duncan for a missions consultation with the Bishops and Archbishops of our global Anglican partners

I get a couple of days off before this:
* 2 day Board of Trustees meeting for Anglican Relief and Development Fund - thankfully, this is in Pittsburgh!

Then, a couple of weeks in the office before this:
* Anglican Network in Canada Synod in Victoria, B.C. on Vancouver Island.

As I said, September so far has been a blur with some great stuff behind me and ahead of me. October and November are looking busy, but not quite as blurry.

While I'm in town, I think this is going to be a good weekend to actually explore our new city of Pittsburgh!

Great pic of Pittsburgh!
(photo via)

Day 3 in Pittsburgh

2011-09-03T01:07:00.000-04:00

This was a welcome sight after some intense weeks preparing for our move to Pittsburgh!

This is day 3 in Pittsburgh, but really the first day in our new house. I'm up for the adventure of obeying the Lord when He says "Go!" -- I think this is just hardwired into my DNA. (It's times like these that I remember that following Jesus isn't safe - but He is good.) All that said, I forget how stressful it is to move.

We've been in 3 different hotels in as many days and now we are in our new house in Pittsburgh. Though 99% of our stuff is still packed in boxes, the 1% of our furniture that is out is very comforting to me right now.

Our family has survived (even joyfully at times!) a very hectic last 2 or 3 months. We're settling into a new city and up for exploring our new surroundings. Today was a great example of how adaptable my kids are. My daughters were getting sick of hotel living -- they gladly went into my office in Downtown Pittsburgh if for any other reason, they weren't in a hotel! Both sat happily in my office, coloring and watching a movie on my laptop while I worked through some items on Archbishop Duncan's calendar. I know my kids are pretty easy going, but even I was surprised at this level of cooperation. Not that I'm complaining, mind you, I'm just surprised!

Then as if the kids didn't suffer through enough adult stuff for one day, they spent half an hour at a local bank while I opened up an account. Both girls were more content sitting in a bank lobby - probably because they weren't sitting in a hotel room!

The unpacking of boxes will begin in earnest at some point. There are still some errands that need to be run as is normal with a move. But, I think the plan is to wait on unpacking everything until we hit the farmer's market in nearby Sewickley. We heard there's a pig roast happening tomorrow. So yeah, the unpacking can wait.

last "bagel adventure" in East Lansing, MI

2011-08-29T12:45:00.000-04:00

taken on a previous "bagel adventure" in Downtown East Lansing, MI

Saturdays with my daughters have developed into a great little tradition we have come to call "bagel adventure." It consists of:

- a trip to Bruegger's Bagels: a toasted everything bagel with cream cheese for me, a lightly buttered blueberry bagel and a toasted olive oil and rosemary bagel for my daughters

- a walk to Barnes & Noble where we read kids books for an hour or so

- a walk back to our van the long way around the campus

This weekend was our last such "bagel adventure" - at least in Downtown East Lansing. Ainsley, my 7 year old, was feeling very nostalgic. She takes after me in that regard. She was a bit sad that this was our last trip through the campus together. We did everything we usually do on Saturdays except Ainsley just didn't want to leave Barnes & Noble. We ended up in the kids section for 2 hours while my daughters quietly read to one another, played and just generally had a good time.

Ainsley hesitated in leaving the bookstore. As if we wouldn't move to Pittsburgh if we just lingered at Barnes & Noble. I'm learning how to parent her with a little more grace because I can see how she's processing this move. She is like me - I'm more attached to the places here where we've got lots of memories. I can try to reason with her and talk her out of her feelings - that won't do much good. Instead, I just hugged her a lot and reassured her that I'll be in Pittsburgh, there are bagels to be had there and a new set of traditions to start. Together.

She smiled and said, "OK. We can go now."

haircut and a reality check

2011-08-29T11:49:00.000-04:00

my clerical collar - on the shelf for a few weeks until I get to Pittsburgh

I just got a haircut a few days ago and my barber who knows I'm a priest asked...
My barber: "What's the sermon about this Sunday?"
Me: "I don't know."
B: "Wow, you're really procrastinating, aren't you? It's Friday!"
Me: "No, I'm not pastoring a church anymore ... no sermon to prepare for this Sunday."

Ouch. That was hard to say. For the last few years, I've been in a rhythm of life and ministry. And it's been a tough adjustment so far not having to prepare for sermons, working on worship services and the like. I don't have a church that I'm pastoring to invite people to worship with me.

It will take some time learning a new rhythm of life and ministry. Unlearning this rhythm -- of being a priest, pastor and church planter -- this has been engrained in me and it's becoming clear that it's tougher than I thought it would be to unlearn.

more points than I know what to do with

2011-08-27T10:16:00.000-04:00

I took this test in a college psychology class - it's the classic Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale (circa 1970). My score was pretty low at the time. I just didn't have that much going on except for work, school and friends. Life has become quite a bit fuller since then.

This chart is pretty handy. It's kind of funny that vacation is 13 points and Christmas is 12 points - which is ironic since they are supposed to be rest and celebration, respectively.

Five years ago, my score was definitely off the charts. We were moving out of state, starting a new job, having a baby, change in church activities (yes, it's also a stressor!) and the like.

I was curious as to what my score would be if I took this test today. My score is still pretty high - at least this time we're not expecting another child with this move to Pittsburgh like we did when we moved from Kansas City to Lansing. Saving those 39 points for adding a new family member is still not enough to keep me out of the stressed zone.

Test follows below.

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Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale

To measure stress according to the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale, the number of "Life Change Units" that apply to events in the past year of an individual's life are added and the final score will give a rough estimate of how stress affects health.

Life event	Life change units
Death of a spouse	100
Divorce	73
Marital separation	65
Imprisonment	63
Death of a close family member	63
Personal injury or illness	53
Marriage	50
Dismissal from work	47
Marital reconciliation	45
Retirement	45
Change in health of family member	44
Pregnancy	40
Sexual difficulties	39
Gain a new family member	39
Business readjustment	39
Change in financial state	38
Death of a close friend	37
Change to different line of work	36
Change in frequency of arguments	35
Major mortgage	32
Foreclosure of mortgage or loan	30
Change in responsibilities at work	29
Child leaving home	29
Trouble with in-laws	29
Outstanding personal achievement	28
Spouse starts or stops work	26
Begin or end school	26
Change in living conditions	25
Revision of personal habits	24
Trouble with boss	23
Change in working hours or conditions	20
Change in residence	20
Change in schools	20
Change in recreation	19
Change in church activities	19
Change in social activities	18
Minor mortgage or loan	17
Change in sleeping habits	16
Change in number of family reunions	15
Change in eating habits	15
Vacation	13
Christmas	12
Minor violation of law	11

Score of 300+: At risk of illness.

Score of 150-299+: Risk of illness is moderate (reduced by 30% from the above risk).

Score 150-: Only have a slight risk of illness.

a warm welcome from Anglican1000

2011-08-22T16:50:00.000-04:00

I'm behind on blogging - here's a very warm welcome from Anglican1000 in my work as Provincial Canon for The Anglican Church in North America. Click here for the article: Anglican1000. Text follows below.

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Welcome, Canon Jack!
By: Daniel Adkinson

As a key initiative of the Anglican Church in North America, we at Anglican 1000 are pleased to welcome the Venerable Dr. Jon (Jack) Lumanog as the new Canon for Provincial and Global Mission of the Anglican Church. In this new role, he will be the chief programmatic officer of the Anglican Church in North America - assisting Archbishop Duncan in carrying out the mission of the Province, both domestically and with international Anglican mission partners.

Canon Lumanog most recently served as church planter and the first rector of Christ the King Anglican Church in Lansing, Michigan. He also serves as the clergy formation advisor for the Heart of North America Regional Network (HONA) of the Anglican Mission in the Americas (AMiA).

While planting Christ the King in Lansing, Canon Lumanog was involved in campus ministry at Michigan State University and was elected twice as president of the Religious Advisors Association where he worked with the officially recognized campus ministries in the Christian and Jewish traditions. He also was active in ministry in the areas of church planting and acts of service to those hit hardest by the economic crisis in the Mid-Michigan region. For more information, see the news release from the province.

It is wonderful to see a church planter accepting this call to serve as the Archbishop’s Canon. It speaks to the priority of church planting in the province. Furthermore, Canon Jack is a great guy! I was in Pittsburgh recently for his first day at the office. He jumped in with both feet and will be wonderful to work with. Welcome, Canon Jack!

In Christ,

Daniel+

There's a liturgy for that...

2011-08-15T11:30:00.000-04:00

In general, I'm not a fan of goodbyes. In fact, I'm very awkward at it.

As a pastor, how do you say goodbye to a church? Thankfully, there's a liturgy (order of service) to help with the departing pastor and remaining congregation to work toward some closure. In my tradition, there is a brief service called The Ending of a Pastoral Relationship (the text of the service is below). Sounds really severe, I know.

But, saying this together was very helpful, though a bit emotional. As part of the liturgy, I had to turn over my keys to the warden along with a copy of my letter of resignation.

So yesterday was my officially my last day as the Rector of Christ the King. I did a pretty good job of holding it together until the benediction when it completely came off the rails for me. Then, saying goodbye to some people who have meant so much to me was also pretty tough. I looked at the church that me and my family would be leaving behind and we saw people we encouraged, blessed, helped bury their loved ones, baptized their kids, served Communion and prepared for Confirmation with the Bishop. A lot of good memories, some moments of difficult on the job training, and even some sorrows to go with the joys.

I woke up today feeling just a little bit lost. I had my coffee this morning and started to think about the next Sunday's sermon, phone calls to return, services to plan, music to work on, or to look for the list of stuff I wrote down after greeting people with prayer needs or maybe a request for a book title or a question that came up from the sermon. That's when I felt a little bit lost. Then I realized that my Monday morning routine is going to be very different from here on out.

I know that I'm leaving this ministry call as a different kind of pastor. I'm different for the better, I think. The congregation that I'm leaving behind is growing and in the midst of a search process for their second Rector.

Now it's on to finding a new Monday morning routine...

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The Ending of a Pastoral Relationship

Just before the Peace, the Minister addresses the congregation with these or similar words

Celebrant: On the nineteenth day of January, 2007, I was inducted by Bishop Thaddeus Barnum as Rector of Christ the King Anglican Church. I have, with God’s help and to the best of my abilities, exercised this trust, accepting its privileges and responsibilities. After prayer and careful consideration, it now seems to me that I should leave this charge, and I publicly state that my tenure as rector of Christ the King ends this day.

Celebrant: Do you, the people of Christ the King, recognize and accept the conclusion of this pastoral relationship?

People: We do.

Then the Minister may express thanksgiving for the time of the tenure, with its joys and sorrows, and state hopes for the future of the congregation.

The Minister may present to the Warden a letter of resignation, the keys of the parish, the parish altar service book, the parish register, or other symbols fitting to the occasion.

The departing Minister and the congregation then say together the following prayer

O God, you have bound us together for a time as priest and people to work for the advancement of your kingdom in this place: We give you humble and hearty thanks for the ministry which we have shared in these years now past. Silence

We thank you for your patience with us despite our blindness and slowness of heart. We thank you for your forgiveness and mercy in the face of our many failures. Silence

Especially we thank you for your never-failing presence with us through these years, and for the deeper knowledge of you and of each other which we have attained. Silence

We thank you for those who have been joined to this part of Christ’s family through baptism. We thank you for opening our hearts and minds again and again to your Word, and for feeding us abundantly with the Sacrament of the Body and Blood of your Son. Silence

Now, we pray, be with us all; and grant that all of us, by drawing ever nearer to you, may always be close to each other in the communion of your saints. All this we ask for the sake of Jesus Christ, your Son, our Lord. Amen.

All stand. The Celebrant says to the people

Celebrant: The peace of the Lord be always with you
People: And also with you.

14 ways to mentor your child

2011-07-29T08:13:00.001-04:00

I've been praying a lot lately. Most of it has been trying to get peace in some pretty difficult transitions. Much of what I have been praying about has been for "the family." But, I know I can get so focused on the larger goal (like providing for my family) that I forget about the day-to-day stuff that comes up - especially my kids.

I've written before like I feel like LBJ sometimes - like I've stumbled into parenthood and hopes no one notices. I need direction on how to get at the character that I want to see formed in my kids.

Which is why practical stuff like the list below is so helpful. This is via Jami Nato - the former children's minister at our old church in Kansas City, Cambridge Church.
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14 ways to mentor your child:
1. go to church regularly. not so a sunday school teacher can tell your child about Jesus(which, yes, will happen hopefully), but to show them the importance of living together in a christ-like community.

2. read the bible with your child regularly. a lot of you mentioned the Jesus storybook bible. we love this too. hands down, i think it is the best children's bible out there. and sometimes i cry when reading it...but whatevs.

3. memorize scripture with your child. for example, have a verse of the week. write it on a chalkboard. practice it in the morning and at night. apply those verses to every day situations...i.e. when they're afraid, when they need an attitude change, when they need to show grattitude.

4. talk often about heart motivations, which leads to bad beahviour.

5. dream, plan, and pray about what you want to see in your family. write it down and pray it through.

6. remind children that obedience is obedience if it is: all the way, right away, and with a happy heart. if it is not all those things, it demands a consequence.

7. put your iphone away. or is it your computer, blog, craft, cleaning, etc? BE PRESENT when interacting with your child.

8. pray with your child. not just at bedtime. pray through rough situations with them.thank God for fun things. help them to know how to repent. pray that your child experiences the Gospel in a real way.

9. ask your child for forgiveness when you mess up. tell them what heart motivations led you to your behavior. model repentance.

10. journal your life honestly. journal your prayers and dreams for your children. this could be done once a year on their birthday. or more often.

11. eat dinner together as a family. no TV. no phones. no distractions. talk about their day...play high and low. what was your high today and what was your low?

12. build encouragement into your kids. build them up during the day or around the dinner table.say encouraging things to them alone and in front of others.

13. go through "catechism" questions with your children. it may seem outdated (actually, up until last year i thought it was just for catholics), but the word catechism just means to teach a biblical truth in an orderly way. it is amazing how many of us don't know the answer to simple biblical truths as we reach adulthood.

14. model charecter traits you want to see in your children. ask God to help you model them. if you don't like it when your kid lies, don't lie to them. if you want your kids to be grateful, don't complain constantly. the list goes on and on.

FIRST-PERSON: Strengthening & equipping pastor's wives

2011-07-28T21:57:00.000-04:00

I came across this article on Twitter. Read this - what you probably didn't know about pastors wives.

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(via Baptist Press)

FIRST-PERSON: Strengthening & equipping pastor's wives
Kathy Litton

SARALAND, Ala. (BP)--A ministry wife exists in a rare environment. To live and work alongside one's husband in Kingdom work is a precious, unique calling. Yet few career tracks in the marketplace have a dynamic quite like that of being a minister's wife.

In ministry, a man's wife is closely associated with and personally connected to his work. In corporate culture, the 40-plus hours a man spends in his workplace has little or nothing to do with his wife. We pastors' wives are partners in our husbands' vocations like few others. We serve as supportive companions with varying degrees of intentionality, involvement and energy to extend our pastor husbands' work and calling. We are a key influence in their effectiveness.

And yet while a pastor's ministry assignment is clear, the wife's rarely is.

Much is expected of us, spoken or unspoken. Juggling our homes while attempting to balance ministry is demanding. We have valid concerns for our families and our finances. We have jobs we go to, and we serve in our ministries. We have our own health and family crises to live through. While many know the joy of a vibrant church with busy happy demands, others serve in hard places with little fruit.

Ministry life may be a strange culture to our experience. We have uncertainties about our role and our calling. Our behind-the-scenes influence with our husbands is powerful, and we want it to be godly and encouraging. Fostering our own spiritual life with the Word and prayer is a daily struggle. We often feel inadequate, ill-prepared and overwhelmed. While unknown to those around us, we have seasons when we are empty and depleted.

Our pastor husbands grasp the notion that we are key in their effectiveness. They realize the intimate connection their wives share in their calling to advance the Gospel. Our husbands would be the first to testify to the critical role we play in their lives and to the ministry. Their brides share their pilgrimage of ministry day by day. Most important, they know how much love, strength, encouragement, joy, companionship, wisdom, confidence, hope, faith and even fun they draw from us. Most understand the incredible sacrifices and investments of their wives as well as the various demands and expectations placed on them. They recognize how few deposits are made into our lives -- with constant withdrawals occurring. When that is the case -- as it is far too often -- struggle, strain and crisis may occur. It is no secret today that many ministry families are at a breaking point.

Ministry wives represent a great deal of leadership and influence within the local church and the Kingdom of God. These women fulfill this role with far too little support, training or encouragement. Under the leadership of the North American Mission Board, a new ministry for pastors' wives across North America has emerged, designed to strengthen, support, train and encourage women in this critical role.

How can we strengthen and equip ministry wives?

She needs tools and encouragement to develop her own transformational walk with the Lord. She needs biblical teaching and training to grow and strengthen her marriage and parenting skills. A wife can benefit greatly from biblical, practical training and coaching for ministry life. The experience and coaching of other faithful, seasoned pastors' wives can be a tremendous investment into her journey.

She longs for encouragement, support and prayer. Since she exists in a rare environment, an understanding friend would refresh her soul. She or her family may need loving care in a sensitive, family or personal crisis. She can receive helpful training in her arena of ministry as well as leadership development to increase her influence and impact. With these kinds of investments, she will be empowered to partner more fruitfully and effectively with her husband to advance the Gospel.

In my new role as director of this ministry, I am engaging ministry wives across the country to hear hearts as we identify issues and needs. We are our own best resources in understanding this unique role. Workgroups are being formed to develop practical strategies to strengthen ministry wives across a broad spectrum of needs. With collaboration and partnerships across Southern Baptist life, I believe we can equip ministry wives more intentionally.

She is key. For far too long she has gone under-supported in her role. By strengthening her, I believe we strengthen our ministry to advance the Gospel.

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Kathy Litton is national director of NAMB's ministry to pastors' wives. Her husband is Ed Litton, pastor of First Baptist North Mobile (Saraland, Ala.).

Bishop John Guernsey on why he is an Anglican Christian

2011-07-25T11:22:00.002-04:00

The Rt. Rev. John Guernsey
Diocese of the Holy Spirit
Anglican Church in North America

Why am I an Anglican? Let me count the ways!

Because it's the Church in which I met Jesus. Through the witness of Christian parents, I came to know that I needed a Savior and to put my trust in Him.

Because we're a biblical Church. We have a bedrock commitment to the Holy Scriptures as the Word of God, knowing that the Bible contains all things necessary to salvation.

Because we're a sacramental Church. We know that the grace of God is conveyed through the Sacraments as they strengthen and build up our faith.

Because we're a Spirit-filled Church. We depend daily on the Holy Spirit who is the Lord, the Giver of Life. It is in His power that we are able to serve others.

Because we're a liturgical Church. As a boy, I was formed in the faith through the Book of Common Prayer, as it conveyed profound theological truth through the beauty and power of its prayers and praises.

Because it's the Church of Cranmer, Ridley and Latimer, martyred during the English Reformation. Our forebears in the faith were willing to sacrifice all for the sake of Christ and the truth of God's Word.

Because it's the Church of John Stott and J.I. Packer. The entire Christian world owes much to these contemporary theological giants of Anglicanism.

Because it's the Church of Archbishop Janani Luwum. Modern day martyr, the Archbishop of Uganda was executed by Idi Amin as he stood for justice in the face of tyranny and the threat of radical Islam.

Because it's the Church of Archbishops Peter Akinola and Henry Orombi. These men are visionary leaders of extraordinary courage, who have taught us so much about standing for Jesus.

Because it's the Church of persecuted Christians in Sudan and Northern Nigeria. They inspire us and through their sacrificial witness the Lord calls us to hold fast to the Gospel under increasing pressure in our culture.

Because it's a Church committed to mission and church planting. Archbishop Duncan's call to plant 1,000 churches in the next five years has spurred us on to recapture our Anglican passion for mission.

Because it's an historic church. We treasure the Apostolic teaching and ministry which has been handed down to us.

Because it's a contemporary church. Our Church is able to present the timeless truths of the Gospel in fresh ways in new contexts.

Because it's a Church with a heart for the poor. The Global South has shown us that most of the Anglicans in the world are themselves poor. Anglicanism's understanding of the Incarnation, God becoming flesh in Jesus Christ, causes us to share the Good News—and our lives—with those in need.

Because it's a Church that knows the power of prayer. Intimacy with Jesus in prayer is at the center of who we are. Seeing the Lord move in answer to believing prayer is at the core of our mission.

Because it is a Church committed to reaching North America with the transforming love of Jesus Christ. Jesus changes us and we are blessed to be part of a Church that wants to be an instrument of Jesus' transformation of the broken, the suffering and the lost.

The Apostle Paul said that we are "servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God" (1 Corinthians 4:1). The Parable of the Talents (Matthew 25) exhorts each of us as stewards to invest what the Lord has given us for the growth of His Kingdom. We have received our Anglican heritage not for mere preservation, like the wicked servant's hiding of his master's money in the ground, but that we might use everything we have to see the Kingdom grow. Let's go forth as faithful Anglican servants who freely share the Good News of Christ, that a world that needs Him so much may come know Him as Savior and Lord.

Anglican Church in North America offers prayer for peace across the region

2011-07-11T14:33:00.001-04:00

(via ACNA)
Anglican Church in North America offers prayer for peace across the region

In light of The South Sudan becoming an independent nation on Saturday, the Anglican Church in North America offers a prayer for peace across the afflicted region.

“We rejoice with our brothers and sisters in the new nation of South Sudan while seeing this as an opportunity to pray for those who most need our prayers and encouragement,” said The Venerable Dr. Jon I. Lumanog, Canon for Provincial and Global Mission.

Lord Jesus Christ, you said to your apostles, “Peace I give to you; my own peace I leave with you.” We pray for the whole world: especially for the new nation of South Sudan. We pray for peace where there is war; for godly compassion and aid where there is competition; for love where there is hate. We also pray for peace, protection and wisdom for Archbishop Daniel Deng Bul and our brothers and sisters of The Sudan as they work together for justice, freedom and peace. Grant us wisdom on how we can be your hands and feet for our faith family in The Sudan and around the world. We pray in the strong name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Photo credit: South Sudanese celebrate ahead of the Saturday ceremony. Picture: Phoebe Okall, The East African

great quote on worship

2011-07-07T11:56:00.000-04:00

"The worship God is seeking relies completely on His initiative, knowing that the only true expression of worship is through the abandonment of all our agendas for His, as we trust in His sovereign power and unlimited grace. It is from this heart posture that true liturgy flows, that music and arts find their highest calling and that the light of a worshipping community shines as a beacon of hope to a suffering and searching world."
- David Ruis

Anglican Church in North America Announces New Canon for Provincial and Global Mission

2011-07-07T09:31:00.000-04:00

I find myself in another season of transition for me and my family. The following announcement was made yesterday by The Anglican Church in North America. I am excited about what God has allowed me to accomplish in the nearly 5 years in Lansing -- looking ahead to what needs to be done in my new leadership role within the Anglican Church.

I am grateful to God for opening this door of ministry and for the pastoral leadership over me who have invited me to participate in this new work.

Now that the proverbial cat is out of the bag ... more to come!
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Anglican Church in North America Announces New Canon for Provincial and Global Mission

Canon Lumanog will be the chief programmatic officer of the Anglican Church in North America assisting Archbishop Duncan in carrying out the mission of the Province, both domestically and with international Anglican mission partners.

The Anglican Church in North America announced The Venerable Dr. Jon (Jack) Lumanog as the new Canon for Provincial and Global Mission. In his new role, Canon Lumanog will be the chief programmatic officer of the Anglican Church in North America assisting Archbishop Duncan in carrying out the mission of the Province, both domestically and with international Anglican mission partners.

“Canon Jack Lumanog will bring tremendous gifts and energy to the work of building the Province together. In his own history are the three streams of our Church life, a fact which strongly draws him to our vision for a biblical, missionary and united Anglicanism in North America. I look forward to his joining me as a ‘right hand’ in the mission of reaching out with the transforming love of Jesus Christ both domestically and abroad,” said the Most Rev. Robert Duncan, Archbishop and Primate of the Anglican Church in North America.

Canon Lumanog most recently served as church planter and the first rector of Christ the King Anglican Church in Lansing, Michigan. He also serves as the clergy formation advisor for the Heart of North America Region of the Anglican Mission in the Americas (AMiA). While planting Christ the King in Lansing, Canon Lumanog was involved in campus ministry at Michigan State University and was elected twice as president of the Religious Advisors Association where he worked with the officially recognized campus ministries in the Christian and Jewish traditions. He also was active in ministry in the areas of church planting and acts of service to those hit hardest by the economic crisis in the Mid-Michigan region.

Canon Lumanog expressed his passion for mission, stating, “To see the Anglican tradition at its best is to see everybody around the table of the Lord being transformed in His presence. I’ll go wherever the Lord wants me to go and I’m humbled by the call to assist the Anglican Church in North America as we strive to fulfill the Great Commission.”

“Jack has been a valuable part of our regional leadership team for several years and is one of the most competent priests I have had the privilege to work with. All of us in the Anglican Mission are excited for this new chapter in Jack and Amy’s lives and ministries and are encouraged that his service to the Anglican Church in North America will deepen the bonds of affection and cooperation in our Anglican family,” said Bishop Doc Loomis of the AMiA.

Canon Lumanog has served in various ministry capacities as archdeacon, interim rector, evangelist, worship leader, youth pastor and as home missionary-in-training at an inner-city church. He is a 1996 graduate of Cornell College in Mt. Vernon, Iowa (BA, Religion). Graduate studies include master of divinity (Anglican studies) and doctor of ministry (pastoral counseling and church administration) degrees. Canon Lumanog and his wife, Amy, have two daughters, Ainsley and Hadley.

The role of Canon for the Provincial and Global Mission was previously held by Canon Daryl Fenton who will continue to serve as a priest in the Anglican Church in North America and in the Diocese of Pittsburgh. Canon Fenton is joining the Church’s Ministry among Jewish People (CMJ USA). As CMJ is a worldwide Anglican mission, he will continue to support the ministry direction set by Archbishop Duncan and the bishops of the Province.

great day at Pilgrim Rest Missionary Baptist Church

2011-06-29T11:29:00.000-04:00

with my friend Pastor Walter Gibson

Pastor Gibson gives the welcome after the praise and worship

Sharing the Gospel with Pilgrim Rest Missionary Baptist Church - the first time an Anglican priest has preached from this pulpit!

I always enjoy the opportunity to preach. It's a great privilege to share the Word of God with the people of God. It's also a pleasure to be able to minister in other churches as God opens the door.

This past Sunday, I took the day off from my church because of the U2 concert that evening! After I scheduled the day off, my friend Pastor Walter Gibson asked me if I would consider preaching at his church in June. I already had the time off from Christ the King so it worked out since I already had someone covering for me at my church.

Pilgrim Rest Baptist Church is a joyful place to worship and preach. I got totally caught up in praise during the worship time. The message I shared was well received and we had a time of personal ministry that followed.

A few church members were totally surprised when the musicians started playing "Total Praise" - one of my favorite choruses so I knew the words and led the singing. After the service, Pastor Gibson told the church "Don't let the collar fool you!" to which the congregation erupted in laughter and applause.

Though this church is in a different worshipping tradition from my own Anglican tradition, it just didn't matter in the end. We worship the same Risen Christ and proclaim the same Gospel. I am thankful that God has opened doors of ministry in the past with Church of God in Christ, Missionary Baptist, Full Gospel Baptist - predominantly African American denominations. Through the years, I came to love and appreciate then learn the traditional Gospel songs. Even though I didn't grow up in this tradition at all, it still speaks powerfully to me in the spirit.

Days like this with my Baptist brothers and sisters is a great reminder that the Kingdom of God is much bigger than we think! Despite our differences in traditions and races, God is greater still.

from Henri Nouwen

2011-06-29T08:19:00.001-04:00

"Having said all this, I realize that I have done nothing more than rephrase the fact that the Christian leader must be in the future what he has always had to be in the past: a man of prayer, a man who has to pray, and who has to pray always. That I bring up this simple fact at this point may be surprising, but I hope I have succeeded in taking away all the sweet, pietistic, and church aura attached to this often misused word.

For a man of prayer is, in the final analysis, the man who is able to recognize in others the face of the Messiah and make visible what was hidden, make touchable what was unreachable. The man of prayer is a leader precisely because through his articulation of God's work within himself he can lead others out of confusion to clarification; through his compassion he can guide them out of the closed circuits of their in-groups to the wide world of humanity; and through his critical contemplation he can convert their convulsive destructiveness into creative work for the new world to come."

from The Wounded Healer by Henri J. M. Nouwen

U2 at Spartan Stadium

2011-06-28T20:19:00.001-04:00

Back in 1987 or so, I was in middle school and a girl in my class (Annie, I think) was a huge fan of REM, The Smiths and U2. She broadened my musical horizons and I still listen to those classic bands.

Fast forward to this past Sunday when U2 came to East Lansing, MI to play a nearly sold out crowd at Spartan Stadium with some 65,000 in attendance.

with Amy at the U2 concert at Spartan Stadium

Bono center stage at Spartan Stadium for the 360 Tour stop in East Lansing, MI

The highlights for me had to be the classic U2 tunes "Mysterious Ways" (I broke my rule of not singing out at the concert - I paid to see them perform and not to sing along but I just couldn't help it!) and "Where the Streets Have No Name." I'm very glad they didn't play "The Sweetest Thing" - I never quite understood that song by U2.

NASA Astronaut Mark Kelly gives concert attendees a video greeting on the big screen

This concert was so inspirational. Between the classic songs and some newer stuff like "Vertigo" and "Elevation" there were videos featuring NASA astronaut Mark Kelly (husband of Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords) and Anglican Archbishop Desmond Tutu speaking to the crowd. I was bummed a little when the concert was over - probably because it was a 20 month wait between buying the tickets to the actual concert night!

When I go to a concert there's always the difficult decision on a tour shirt. I could not just pass by the merch tent! The shirt that I settled on was the least "Ed Hardy" of all the options. This shirt will be my souvenir of a great night outdoors with my wife at Spartan Stadium for an amazing U2 concert.

101 Best Restaurants in America

2011-06-24T15:25:00.001-04:00

Here's a list of the 101 Best Restaurants in America from The Daily Meal.

I've been to just a few of these (I highlighted the places I've been to in yellow - my notes are off to the side.) A lot of these restaurants I expected to be on the list. Biggest surprise has to be #18 - Arthur Bryant's BBQ in Kansas City. Definitely well-earned recognition for Bryant's among some of the giants in the fine dining scene.

Great eating and great dining all over the nationBest 101 Restaurants:

101. McCrady's

99. Rasika (tie)

99. Hot and Hot Fish Club (tie)

97. L'Espalier (tie)

97. Oklahoma Joe's (tie) - not the best BBQ joint in Kansas City but worth a mention.
95. Lonesome Dove (tie)

95. Ad Hoc (tie)

94. Neptune Oyster Bar

93. Beast

90. Bar Masa (tie)

90. Urasawa (tie)

90. '21' Club (tie)

88. Animal (tie)

88. Lucques (tie)

87. Quinones at Bacchanalia

85. Hungry Mother (tie)

85. 17th Street Bar & Grill (tie)

78. Valentino (tie)

78. The Barn at Blackberry Farms (tie)

78. Boulevard (tie)

75. Incanto (tie)

75. Redd (tie)

75. Mustard's Grill (tie)

74. Arun's Thai Restaurant

72. SriPhraPhai (tie)

72. Grand Sichuan International

69. Restaurant Eve (tie)

69. Michael's Genuine (tie)

69. L20 (tie)

68. Fore Street - great place in the Portland, Maine food scene!

67. The Fearrington House

59. Jitlada (tie)

59. Hominy Grill (tie)

58. Bouchon Bistro - a definite favorite of mine!

57. Fearing's

54. Vetri (tie)

54. o ya (tie)

54. Lambert's Downtown Barbecue (tie)

53. Restaurant August

51. Slanted Door (tie)

51. Le Bec-Fin (tie)

50. Herbfarm

48. Marea (tie)

48. Locanda Verde (tie)

47. Joël Robuchon

45. Osteria Mozza (tie)

45. CityZen (tie)

43. The Four Seasons Restaurant (tie)

43. Cut (tie)

40. The Hitching Post II (tie)

40. Casa Mono (tie)

40. L'Atelier de Joël Robuchon (tie)

34. Pizzeria Bianco

33. Frasca

31. Cochon (tie)

31. Canlis (tie)

29. Lotus of Siam (tie)

29. Fonda San Miguel (tie)

28. Del Posto

27. Minibar

25. The Pit (tie)

25. Momofuku Ssäm Bar (tie)

24. Joe's Stone Crab

21. Zuni Café (tie)

21. Frank Pepe Pizzeria (tie)

21. Clio (tie)

20. Frontera Grill

19. Bazaar

18. Arthur Bryant's - One of my favorite restaurants ... ever! Not a lot of atmosphere, but you are eating a part of history. Pork BBQ sandwich with fries is my go to order. Hit the place up at 11a or 1p to miss the lunch rush.

16. Commander's Palace (tie)

16. Babbo (tie)

15. WD-50

14. Katz's Delicatessen

13. Peter Luger - be sure to bring cash, no cards accepted!

12. Bern's Steak House

11. Masa

10. The Inn at Little Washington

9. Citronelle

8. Jean Georges

7. Chez Panisse

6. Blue Hill Stone Barns

1. French Laundry

great quote from Mark Driscoll

2011-06-21T10:02:00.001-04:00

"I want to prepare like an evangelical; preach like a Pentecostal; pray like a mystic; do spiritual disciplines like a Desert Father; art like a Catholic; and social justice like a liberal."

- Mark Driscoll

10 Practical Ways to Be a Good Dad

2011-06-21T09:58:00.001-04:00

(via Scott Thomas)

10 Practical Ways to Be a Good Dad

1. Get involved with your child from the beginning.

Remember, there is only one thing a father can't do for his baby. And even then, you can still establish a role for yourself bathing, burping, comforting, and taking the baby out for a walk.

2. Prioritize fatherhood.

Some dads worry that by emphasizing family so much they will lose their edge at the workplace and not be as competitive for positions as those who lack family ties or neglect them. Research doesn't support that fear. Plan your work around your family. Decide that father-child time is not negotiable, but work time is. With calendar or planner in hand, schedule first the activities of your children, the school events, the games, then write in your work obligations.

3. Make yourself available always.

Interrupt your meetings when anyone in the family calls. Learn to text and respond quickly. Don't be busy all of the time. Build in opportunities for spontaneous conversations. (Cf: "Spending Quantity Time with Your Kids")

4. Have regular one-on-one time with each child.

Sometimes it's fun to talk while you're doing errands or making home repairs, but be sure there are times that you turn off the TV, put down the newspaper, and give your kids your undivided attention. Arrange solo time with your kids. Go out to eat a favorite meal or to do an activity the child enjoys or just go on an errand together.

5. Connect with your child at all levels.

Make sure you have some contact with every aspect of your child's life. Visit the school, meet the teacher and kids and have at least a bit of contact with an after-school activity. If you have seen where your children are and met their friends, you will have more to talk about and more interesting conversations. Parent involvement during children's schooling is critical to their school success. Work with your employer to see that your work schedule doesn't preclude your involvement in your child's schooling.

6. Become an expert dad.

Keep up with the language of child rearing. Talk to other dads informally, in groups, or in parenting classes. Read articles and books about good fathering. In too many families, Mom becomes the "expert" and Dad relegates his responsibilities to her. Don't let that happen to you.

7. Teach them.

No dad has every gift or skill. Kids may learn certain things from other males in their lives. Use opportunities to share your talents. In my family, I lack auto mechanical ability, but I have passed on the gift and love of sports by personally coaching their teams.

8. Take kids to work.

This is a great way to teach them about the world of work that you are a part of. Take kids with you on business trips when possible. (Cf: "Froggy Boots and a Bible")

9. Stay connected when you have to be away.

Sometimes work takes dads out of town. Set up a routine to stay connected. Some families schedule a specific time Dad will call that is convenient for all members of the family. When you return, bring home something special for the kids. It doesn't have to be extravagant.

10. Show affection often.

Even if older kids seem squeamish, kids enjoy a hug and always enjoy encouraging words from their dad. I get my sons t-shirts each time I go on a trip, and they wear them proudly, even when their friends ask why they have such a random collection of shirts from so many different cities.

Father's Day 2002

2011-06-16T20:24:00.000-04:00

I was ordained to the priesthood on Father's Day - June 16, 2002. My Dad has always been supportive of my call to the priesthood.

I was ordained and became Father Jack on this Father's Day even though my daughter, Ainsley Mae, would be born two years later. A pretty great day!

Learning to Rest Well

2011-06-16T09:03:00.003-04:00

(This is the June newsletter article I wrote for Christ the King Anglican Church)

Lamentations 3:22-23 (NIV) – "Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."

As we are in the spring and heading into summer, this calendar season is a good reminder for me that I'm still learning to rest well. Resting does not come naturally for me. This sounds weird, but I'm working at resting well!

God intended for us to enter into Sabbath rest. Here's a great thought from author and pastor Dr. Wayne Cordeiro:

"God gives us rest, but sometimes we can't seem to accept such an extravagant gift. We somehow imagine that the world won't be able to go on without our involvement. There's too much to do. Yet God says: 'You shall do no work at all…It is to be a Sabbath of complete rest to you, and you shall humble your souls' (Leviticus 23:31-32)" (Leading on Empty).

Dr. Cordeiro goes on to say "Humble your souls? What does that mean? … So even in the midst of the work, we have to cease and rest. Why? Do you mean to tell me I'm not indispensible? This may be a really rude awakening, but the fact is, the world will go on even if you are not involved for a day." That's humbling for my soul, indeed.

With spring and summer forcing a change in our family schedule with school being out, it's a great reminder to be rested and re-created with those whom I love and those who love me. And, I hope it's an opportunity for you to do the same.

Resting well is holy work. If you're like me and you need directions on how to do this, take this great step-by-step advice by Pastor Eugene Cho:

· Breathe.

· Pray.

· Be reminded of your love for your family.

· Be reminded of God's love for me.

· Breathe some more.

· Pray.

Jesus modeled for us this pattern of ministry and rest and we would do well to follow His example (like everything else in our lives – following Jesus is always a good default setting!). "As often as possible Jesus withdrew to out-of-the-way places for prayer (Luke 5:16/The Message)."

I ask for your prayers for me and my family as we rest and are re-created in the Lord's presence. I pray for you and your summer – that this holy work would be a great opportunity for the Lord to move in our individual lives and corporately as a church!

Even with the intensely busy ministry season with Holy Week, Eastertide, Discipleship Group, Adult Bible Study and Graduate Sunday just behind us, let's not miss out on God's renewing presence amid the good activity at Christ the King!

Looking forward to seeing you this Sunday at Christ the King. (And, if you're out of town on vacation, that's OK, I totally understand!)

For Christ and His Kingdom,

Fr. Jack

9th anniversary of my ordination to the priesthood

2011-06-16T08:00:00.029-04:00

June 16, 2002 - I was ordained to the priesthood on Father's Day. I celebrated my first Holy Communion as a priest on this day as well. Though I was a bit nervous, it seemed like I was preparing for this day all my life.

And that's me, 9 years later serving at the church where I am the Rector (Senior Pastor).

Looking back so far, I've had the honor of:
- proclaiming the Word of God
- baptizing babies, kids and adults
- preparing people for marriage
- comforting those who are mourning
- raising up new leaders in the Church
- offering Christ's pardon to those in need of forgiveness
- holding the hands of those leaving this life to enter eternal life with Christ
- serving those who are the least, the lost and the lonely in Jesus' name

It's been 13 years of marriage, 9 years serving as a priest and 7 years of being a Dad. All of this together has been a dream come true!

my intro to the Court of Master Sommeliers

2011-06-08T16:25:00.000-04:00

Setup for our classroom lectures and wine tastings for the 2 day intro Sommelier course

This is my "home" for two days - trying to be a good student with my reference materials handy

This wine tripped me up in the blind tasting portion of the class - we presented in teams of 5 on what we thought the wine was after analyzing color, aroma and taste. I'll never forget this wine now!

The wine tasting flight aftermath

A very full lecture hall for the Intro Sommelier Course

The very comprehensive notebook of the presentations given by the Master Sommeliers - a souvenir from my time in class!

(For another first person account of the two day introductory Sommelier course, read this by Mary Orlin. She's a much better writer and she actually passed the course!)

I just got back from taking the two day introductory course with the Court of Master Sommeliers. It's the first step of a two step process necessary to become a "Certified Sommelier." I went into my time pretty prepared having dusted off books like The Wine Bible by Karen MacNeil and picking up a copy of Sales and Service for the Wine Professional by Brian Julyan.

There were 90 course participants - all (except at least me - maybe others) working full time in the restaurant or beverage business. I felt a little like an interloper since food and wine are passions for me - but not how I earn my living. I wanted to broaden my wine education by basically getting a "jet tour" through the wine regions of the world and to understand how to do a proper Champagne and decanter service. I really enjoyed watching the demonstration of both the Champagne and decanter service by the Master Sommeliers!

The course lectures were given over a day and a half with the exam at the end of the second day. The lectures split up between four Master Sommeliers - all extremely knowledgeable and very good presenters. The lectures were fast-paced and the info was all very helpful in broadening my knowledge base.

One of the main features of the Sommelier Course is teaching and practicing the Court of Master Sommeliers deductive tasting method. There is a method for blind tastings on how to describe the color of the wine, nose (smell), alcohol and acidity - all to determine where the wine is from, the type of grape, and the vintage (year) of the wine.

Each and every one of us had to stand up in front of the classrom and present on a blind tasting in teams of five. I got completely tripped up by a 2009 Nickel and Nickel Chardonnay Searby Vineyard from the Russian River Valley. I got some of what the Master Sommeliers were looking for in my palate presentation, corrected a couple of times along the way, but I was still missing some crucial aspects that would lead me and my team to the final correct result.

I'm pretty positive about taking the course - not so positive on the outcome of the exam. I've heard from two others who took the intro course where everyone passed. This was not the case in my course. I wasn't keeping track of how many passed - but there weren't anywhere near 90 diplomas and pins handed out. There were more than a few (myself included) who were surprised by the outcome. I saw one person in particular who slumped into a chair in aggravation when his name wasn't called by the Master Somms handing out diplomas and pins. (I'm not going to lie, but for a moment there, I almost joined him.)

This course had a lot of young 20s and 30s in attendance and they were either aspiring Sommeliers backed by their restaurants (it costs money to take this course and sit for the exam) or they were waiters hoping to make a switch and they paid out of pocket. The reaction of those who did not pass was either: "Great, I'm out this money and time and didn't even pass" (if you paid out of pocket like me) -or- "How am I going to explain this to my boss?" (if you were backed by your restaurant or wine shop).

It was exciting to see the reaction of those who passed after their hard work and heartbreaking at the same time for those who were hoping to make it to the next level.

My takeaways:
1) I'm going to take the course and exam again. I learned so much and it barely scratched the surface of 6,000-8,000 years of wine production! It's a rich history and I loved what I learned so far.

2) I have an even greater amount of respect for those who are in the service industry. My family has been in the restaurant business for most of my life. My Dad is a chef and I saw first hand how the work takes its toll on you physically and relationally. Watching aspiring Sommeliers in action and talking with them and hearing their stories - it's encouraging for the overall future of the business having young and passionate people starting out with this level of education.

3) I was encouraged to continue my pursuit of becoming a Sommelier. It came up that I'm not working in the "business" (restaurant or beverage industry). As far as I know, I was the only non-professional at this particular course offering. But, the others taking the class with me said that food and wine critics are not interested in taking the course and the exam because it places them against an international standard of knowledge about wine.

4) I'm proud to be a member of the Chaine des Rotisseurs. I have been with The Chaine for 10 years now. I see the importance of our organization holding an international Young Sommelier competition every year to encourage young wine professionals in their ongoing education and training.

help me win $100 at Campus Den for Father's Day

2011-06-08T10:23:00.001-04:00

OK friends, you know I don't ask for a whole lot. (Well, my wife might disagree, but that's for another time!)

Campus Den is giving away $100 for Father's Day. I'm in this contest and I might be able to win with your help because who doesn't like free stuff? It's pretty simple. Here's what you can do to help...

1) If you are on Facebook, you have to "like" their fanpage:
http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/CampusDen

2) Vote for my pic with me and my kids in our Michigan State fan apparel by hitting "like" on the photo:
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150222185369461&set=a.10150222185149461.334370.16158459460&type=1

Thanks so much!

so May came and went...

2011-06-01T14:35:00.001-04:00

So, it's June 1st. May was just an enormous blur to me. I spent a total of 17 nights away from home on the road traveling - with just 14 nights at home. Last night, the last evening of May was meant to be a night in my own bed. But, in the Lord's sense of humor, I ended up crashing at a friend's house in Livonia since our van couldn't start after parked for a few days in the Detroit Airport parking lot. (Apparently, a rodent chewed its way through a pretty crucial wire underneath the van that prevented it from starting. Yes, that's right, a rodent.)

My wife - the eternal optimist - saw this as a great opportunity to extend vacation. Me - not as amused but no choice besides rolling with this unfortunate circumstance.

I'm working from a living room cleaning out e-mail inboxes and returning phone calls and generally catching up. After 17 nights on the road in May, I've got my work pattern pretty well down where I can work from just about anywhere.

I will be so very thankful to be in my own bed (God willing) on this first night of the new month!

Good reminder from C.S. Lewis today

2011-05-26T08:33:00.001-04:00

C.S. Lewis wrote in Mere Christianity:

"It is easy to think that the Church has a lot of different objects – education, buildings, missions, holding services…[But] the Church exists for nothing else but to draw men into Christ, to make them into little Christs. If they are not doing that, all the cathedrals, clergy, missions, sermons, even the Bible itself, are simply a waste of time. God became man for no other purpose. It is even doubtful, you know, whether the whole universe was created for any other purpose. It says in the Bible that the whole universe was made for Christ and that everything is to be gathered together in Him."

Proverbs on friendship

2011-05-26T07:11:00.002-04:00

(This was part of a longer blog post from Mark Driscoll on pastors and friends. I really liked the last part where Proverbs speaks to the kind of friend to be and the kind of friends to avoid.)

So, do have friends. Start with Jesus and your wife as your first two friends. After that, be the kind of friend and seek the kind of friends that Proverbs speaks of so often:

Godly Friends

Prov. 13:20 – "Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm."

Devoted Friends

Prov. 17:17 – "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity."

Prov. 18:24 – "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."

Sanctifying Friends

Prov. 27:6 – "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy."

Prov. 27:9 – "Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel."

Also watch out for the deadly kind of false friends that Proverbs warns of and whom Satan particularly enjoys sending to church-plant core groups:

Fake Friends

Prov. 19:4 – "Wealth brings many new friends, but a poor man is deserted by his friend."

Prov. 19:6 – "Many seek the favor of a generous man, and everyone is a friend to a man who gives gifts."

Sinful Friends

Prov. 16:28 – "A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends."

Prov. 17:9 – "Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends."

Prov. 22:24–25 – "Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare."

Painful Friends

Prov. 25:17 – "Let your foot be seldom in your neighbor's house, lest he have his fill of you and hate you."

Prov. 25:19 – "Trusting in a treacherous man in time of trouble is like a bad tooth or a foot that slips."

Prov. 25:20 – "Whoever sings songs to a heavy heart is like one who takes off a garment on a cold day, and like vinegar on soda."

my digital and analog existence

2011-05-24T16:17:00.003-04:00

(OK, here goes another random blog post.)

I think I can safely admit that I love administration and I believe I do it pretty well.

And, I'd like to think that I am pretty adept at working with technology. I rely on technology for work on a daily basis.

Here's where I'm pretty easily digital:

- I have been editing audio and podcasting mp3s of my sermons since I started at my church - the first Sunday in 2007.

- I manage 4 websites.

- I can still throw together a video pretty quickly - back to my video production days when I did commercials and training videos.

- I work remotely from my office in Kansas City through a handy Citrix plug-in.

- My laptop, my cell phone and a power inverter can turn my minivan into a mobile office!

However, as technology has made staying connected possible, here is where I am stubbornly analog:

- Over the last 5 years, I have completely abandoned my digital calendar. My master calendar is a spiral bound liturgical calendar. When I run out of space in that particular day and can't write in anymore appointments, my day is literally "full." It's my cue to move on to the next available day. Low tech, I know, but it manages to keep my workaholic tendencies under control. I use 4 different colored highlighters to keep track of projects:
pink = newspaper

green = church

yellow = Anglican Mission in the Americas

blue = Civil Air Patrol

In the last 5 years, I've come close to losing my liturgical calendar by leaving it behind at an appointment or misplacing it in my office. My backup plan is praying that I find my appointment book. There is no syncing with this analog method - which does scare me every so often.

- I use Post-it notes - a lot of them.

- I've tried and tried and tried electronic readers. I can't do it. Most recently, a friend sent me a PDF of his book proof (galley). I tried to read it electronically, but I just couldn't do it. I ended up printing out the 300+ page file and it's being held together with a massive binder clip (also a fascination of mine).

- I love my Moleskine notebook. I almost always have one on me. What goes in there usually ends up in a future sermon. I tried keeping electronic notes on my phone, but typing wasn't as fast as actually writing it out by hand.

- I still write thank you notes and prayer cards. E-mails are good, but I still think sending a notecard is better.

- For everyday use, I'm a huge fan of the Sharpie pen. At first, I resisted the retractable kind, but I've been won over. For special writing projects, I'm a Cross fountain pen man. And yes, I've got an ink well on my desk.

13 years later...

2011-05-24T12:21:00.002-04:00

our wedding day - 1998

My wife and I just celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary. Looking at this pic from 13 years ago, I'm pretty sure that we wouldn't know that in 2011...

- Being exact opposites can work (really well, in fact) - but it takes a few years to get the hang of it! (It's official given our Myers-Briggs and DiSC profiles!)

- We'd have Ainsley and Hadley in our lives

- Amy and I would make a really good team in our marriage, as parents, and as ministers together at our church

- That being a husband and dad would teach me so much about mercy and grace - and the need to ask for forgiveness early and often

- Amy would learn how to cook Filipino food (Chicken Adobo and Pancit Canton) or have a bottle of patis (fish sauce) in the fridge

- And, Amy would eventually get our kids' attention by saying: "tsssst" (being married to a Filipino will do that to you, I guess). "Hoy" is next, I can feel it.

- I'd know that a "horseshoe" is not only for horses - but it's also a delicious sandwich from Springfield, IL

- We would own a minivan - and that Amy would be OK with it in the end

- Amy gets me to try new things - I complain at first, but in the end, I give her credit for the effort in helping me explore. For example, getting out to San Francisco last summer was just brilliant - all her idea.

- We could handle just about anything that is thrown at us so long as we are looking ahead together in the same direction (from the greeting card I found for our 13th anniversary)

----

I've been feeling quite a bit nostalgic celebrating our anniversary. This might be a blog post that will be updated as I think of it - but this is what came to mind at lunchtime!

15 Important Life Lessons I’ve Learned (Add Yours)

2011-05-23T19:30:00.001-04:00

(great blog post via Ron Edmonson)

Here are some of the best wisdom, lessons and principles I've received from life. I'm not saying I live by these always, just that I've lived long enough to know they are true. I'd love for this to be a continuing dialogue, so please read mine and add your own.

Above all else guard your heart, for it is the well spring of life. – Proverbs 4:23, Eventually it all boils down to the heart of the matter.

God cares more about our character than He does many of the individual decisions we make, but if we are not careful we will spend more of our prayer time focusing on those decisions. – Being a good father is more important than buying the best house in town.

You've got to know when to fold them; know when to walk away; and know when to run. – There are times to fight and times you know you can't win and times when you shouldn't be fighting anyway. Learning the difference is huge.

If you can't say nothin' nice, don't say nothin' at all. - Thumper knew a truth that Scripture plays out too. There are times when we need to "shut up" and say (or email) nothing.

Once it is said, it's much harder to take back. - Thumper didn't say this one, but maybe the warning should have come after it, because we usually don't listen to the first suggestion.

It takes time to mend a broken heart. – As believers we don't grieve like a world without hope, but we still hurt. Healing wounds take time, prayer, and truth. Some marriages need to know this principle.

Letting people get credit for something I did is okay if the organization is moving forward. - In the end, if I'm leading, I'll get all the credit I deserve and more.

Jesus came full of grace AND truth. - We tend to err in one direction or the other.

More of the same will not produce change. - You can't keep doing the same things and expect to get different results.

Sometimes the greatest fear we have is the greatest opportunity God has to use us for His glory. - God seems to always call us to that which seems bigger than we are. That causes us to rely on Him more.

God is faithful; you can trust Him. - This one comes with test after test, but He has proven Himself every time.

We tend to end in the direction we are headed. – We shouldn't be surprised if we end up in a bad situation, if that's the direction we were aiming our life.

You get more bees with honey than vinegar. – Being nice to people usually gets better results than beating them into submission. (Bible truth: It's the kindness of God that leads to repentance.

People are different from me. – I tend to want people to respond to life and me as I respond to life and others. They don't.

Every life experience can be used of God for something that gives God glory. – Everything! Maybe even reading this post!

Now share yours!

What have you learned in life…or what did your Momma…or Thumper…teach you?

random post about waking up in 2011

2011-05-13T17:10:00.000-04:00

Esquire - circa March 1995

Right up front, this is a pretty random blog post.

So far this year, I bought 2 new pairs of jeans. I had been fine for the last 5 years or so but the last time I bought pants, I was still hopelessly stuck in the 1990s. I had a gift card to Eastwood Town Center and I got myself a pair of new jeans. New - as in brand new to me and new to this fashion decade. Big, big step for me.

In fact, as I scanned my casual (non clergyperson's) wardrobe, I realized that a lot of my clothes were still pretty baggy - like I was hoping to score a guest spot on Beverly Hills 90210 (the old show, not the current re-make!). I didn't have quite the hair that Robert Downey Jr. was sporting back in the pic above from March 1995, but a lot of my clothes (especially sweaters) were of this similar heft.

Starting with my Air Force service dress uniform, I had that tailored so it didn't look like a military sack. Along with quite a few pairs of pants. And in buying a few different pieces of clothing, I bought them exactly to my size. My tailor is overjoyed that I have come to this realization.

On my last visit, she asked: "You don't know how to sew?"
I said, "No, lucky for you, right?"
She laughed. A lot.

April catch up

2011-05-11T09:07:00.000-04:00

- CAP Michigan Wing Conference - offiially received my promotion to Lieutenant Colonel and a Commander's Commendation for my service as Michigan Wing Chaplain.

- At Christ the King Anglican Church, led services for Holy Week: Palm Sunday, Maundy Thursday and Good Friday. Thankfully, I was healthy for this hectic and blessed week in the life of the church! We also set attendance records for Holy Week this year.

- Kicked off a network for Mid Michigan Church Planters with Riverview Church, Kingdom Life Church, The Missionary Church and Christ the King Anglican Church.

- Re-elected to the office of President of Religious Advisors Association at Michigan State University.

- Spent nearly a week packing for a week out of town for Chaplain Corps Staff College at Naval Station Great Lakes and for a weekend in Chicago for my daughter's 7th birthday.

my favorite pics from the royal wedding

2011-05-04T18:58:00.000-04:00

So, through the eyes of an Anglican priest, here are my favorite pics from the royal wedding. (For gift ideas, I can always use preaching bands or a new cope.)

The Dean and Chapter of Westminster, greeting Prince William and Prince Harry before the wedding.

The Dean of Westminster Abbey leads the Queen, Duke of Edinburgh, Prince of Wales, and Duchess of Cornwall to their seats.

The Bishop of London, with the Prince of Wales and Duchess of Cornwall.

Archbishop of Canterbury leading in the exchanging of vows.

The Dean and the Archbishop pray over the royal couple.

our marriage as a teenager

2011-04-30T22:04:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow is May 1st. And it got me thinking ...

This is from our reception on our wedding day - May 23, 1998. There are only a few wedding photos that I have handy - way before everyone had a digital camera. The really fancy pics are in the fancy wedding album. We bring that out for company.

Amy and I are coming up on our 13th wedding anniversary. I know, we can hardly believe it, too.

We were just talking about how much has happened to us in our life together so far. I was 22 and Amy was 21 on our wedding day. Already, the odds were stacked against us but we end up right where we started - together.

When Amy and I were cutting our wedding cake, I could hardly imagine my life today. Our life together as a couple, as parents to our daughters who were known only to God at that point, our work together in ministry.

Back in 1998, I was just two years out of college, working as a general manager of a radio station and knowing at some point I would be in seminary to start on my Master of Divinity degree. Three months later, we'd be moving to Kansas City to start a completely new life together where we had a few friends but only one of us (Amy) had a job. Wow. Either that was radical faith or we just didn't know any better. Perhaps it was both.

Thirteen years later, I'm writing this while my kids are playing in the house and Amy is away for a couple of days on a ladies retreat for church. The kids and I went out for bagels this morning, sushi this afternoon with a whole lot of laughs in between. We're about ready to celebrate some birthdays - Ainsley turns 7 on Friday and Hadley is about to turn 4 in July.

This is our life together and even though I couldn't see this 13 years ago, I still love it!

my office on the road

2011-04-28T14:00:00.003-04:00

En route to Thanksgiving - but first, I had to moderate a conference call from the back seat of the minivan. My setup: Palm Pre serving as phone and mobile wi-fi, power inverter keeping my office going and my laptop.

Taking over my Mother-in-Law's table with my mobile office - she was pretty pleased to see me pack this up at the end of our visit!

My setup at the Mission Center (HQ) for the Anglican Mission in the Americas in Pawley's Island, SC.

This ended up being my setup at Pawleys Island - at first, I was looking out at the window but I quickly realized I wouldn't get much done looking out at this beautiful view!

As I'm getting ready for another trip, I thought I would share some pics of my office on the road. I've got a setup down that keeps me connected so I can work from just about anywhere. It's not perfect, it's just what I've put together so it all works.

I've also got a ~~little~~ traveling routine down that keeps things on track for me when I'm out of town. The routine gives some order to my chaos of being in a different city.

Easter

2011-04-25T16:52:00.001-04:00

Our family - Easter Sunday 2011

We had a great Holy Week at Christ the King Anglican Church. We had record attendance at Good Friday and Easter Sunday services. It was such a great blessing to see our Worship Center packed with people wanting to connect with the Lord.

As I write this, I'm on the other side of Easter Sunday. It's been a very busy last few weeks in the run up to Easter. Holy Week is a bit challenging for me and my family as there's so much running around that needs to happen - special services, dinners on the run, nerves a little on edge, etc.

It's a special grace that my wife and kids extend to me at Christmas and Easter. I try my best to not use all the busy-ness as an excuse. Instead, I try even harder to make sure that my family doesn't get leftovers of my time and attention even at my busiest times of the year.

Christmas and Holy Week is a team effort as far as my family is concerned. In addition to volunteers at church working to make sure that we're ready for our special services, my family has to chip in, too. My wife graciously played the piano for our Good Friday service. So, another family at church had to watch our kids while both Mom and Dad were ministering to our congregation.

After our great Easter worship service, we went out for brunch at one of the hotels in Lansing. This has become a great tradition that all of us look forward to. It gives my wife a very much needed day off from cooking and our kids get to see the Easter Bunny and have a few trips to the chocolate fountain. (OK, I also get to take a few trips to the chocolate fountain!)

Though I'm quite a bit tired, my heart is full from a full worship center at Holy Week, grateful for the work of our volunteers who made our church ready for our members, regular attendees and guests. But especially, for the love and support of my family - they make a hectic time in life and ministry very worthwhile!

my take on Emeril's recipe for She-Crab Soup

2011-04-19T17:33:00.000-04:00

my finished product - She-Crab Soup

On a pretty cold and rainy day this past Saturday, I decided on a whim to head out to Meijer and pick up the ingredients to make She-Crab Soup. This is a must for me to order when I'm in the South. I'm on a quest to find the best She-Crab Soup in the Low Country (so far, it's Frank's in Pawleys Island, SC). My other ongoing quest is to find the best Lobster Roll (so far, it's Haraseeket Lunch & Lobster in Freeport, ME).

I found Emeril's recipe to be the one with most of the ingredients I had in the pantry. And, it did not call for crab roe. Where in Mid-Michigan was I going to find crab roe? I just didn't have the strength to search high and low for it, so that eliminated a bunch of recipes. Emeril's was the easiest to work with - though you can easily get by on just 1 pound of crabmeat. The original recipe is here on Food Network's website. Here's what I ended up doing...

She-Crab Soup

Ingredients
4 tablespoons butter
4 tablespoons flour
2 small onions, finely chopped
6 ribs of celery, finely grated
1 tablespoon minced garlic
Salt and pepper
1 quart whole milk
1 cup cream
1 tablespoon Frank's Red Hot sauce
2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
2 pounds crab meat, picked over for cartilage (you can easily get by with just 1 pound)
2 hard boiled eggs, finely chopped (I upped it 1 from the original recipe)
1/2 cup sherry
1 tablespoon finely chopped parsley

Directions
In the top of a double-boiler, melt the butter and flour together. Cook the mixture for 3-4 minutes for a blond roux. Stir in the onions, celery, and garlic. Season with salt, pepper, and mace. Cook the vegetables for 2 minutes. Whisk in the milk, cream, hot sauce, and Worcestershire. Bring the liquid up to a boil and reduce to a simmer. Simmer the soup for 15 minutes. Stir in the crab meat and continue simmering for 10-15 minutes. Reseason if necessary. Sprinkle the chopped eggs in the bottom of each bowl. Ladle the soup into each bowl. Drizzle the soup with the sherry. Garnish with chopped parsley.

(Constantly shouting "BAM!" when a new ingredient is added to the double boiler is completely optional)

good questions to ask your kids

2011-04-19T09:32:00.004-04:00

One of my New Year's Resolutions was to attack the pile of books that have taken up residence on my office floor. Nevermind that this resolution is 4 years old -- older than my younger daughter -- but that's beside the point.

I just finished up "The Pastor" by Eugene Peterson. Great book, though I disagree with Peterson on his reasons for disdaining large churches. I'll have to blog separately about this Peterson memoir.

I'm working through Andy Stanley's "Choosing to Cheat - Who Wins when Family and Work Collide." In it, he has a section where he checks in with his kids at least twice a week at bedtime and he asks each of them this series of questions:

Is everything okay in your heart?

Did anyone hurt your feelings today?

Are you mad at anyone?

Did anyone break a promise to you?

Is there anything I can do for you?

Wow. Great list. I really needed that. Same with "[kids] hear everything as a promise. 'I'll think about it' sounds like a promise to my kids."

In my house, I've got my wife and my 2 daughters. We've got a couple of little frogs (Hip and Hop) as well. Hopefully, one of them is a guy, otherwise I'm totally outnumbered.

I have been convicted about how my words can make my kids light up or just be devastating - even though it was meant as an innocent joke. This is turning out to be a season where I'm being instructed through the school of the Spirit (combination of discipleship, brokenness and sanctification) on how to be a parent who builds up my kids in a godly way.

February and March catch up

2011-04-13T20:57:00.006-04:00

So, it's April already and I've not done one of these in a couple of months. My bad...
February
- went out to Springfield, IL to celebrate my sister-in-law's Sweet 16 birthday party

- 5 days in Greensboro, NC for our annual Winter Conference for The Anglican Mission (picture above is me at the Power Ministry service - it's rare that I get to be a participant in a worship service ... not the leader in any capacity)
- my 3 year old had her tonsils out

- Church of Greater Lansing Food Drop - 30+ churches in Lansing served 2000+ needy families in one day by delivering food boxes in our region. We had a praise rally before the food distribution and I got to welcome the crowd. What a great honor to labor with pastors to bring our congregations together and serve others in need!

March
- lots of activity at Christ the King Anglican for Mardi Gras and the start of Lent with Ash Wednesday service
- seeing our attendance rise to the mid 70s in Sunday worship!
- led a funeral service at our church
- out to Ann Arbor to preside at a promotion ceremony for one of the Chaplains in my Wing - she was promoted to the rank of Captain in the Civil Air Patrol US Air Force Auxiliary
- out to Pawleys Island, SC for a meeting with some key leadership in The Anglican Mission

50 Things You Can Say to Make Your Child Feel Great

2011-04-12T11:13:00.001-04:00

I've been a parent for going on 7 years now. I can hardly believe it, too.

My wife is very cool, calm and collected when it comes to the kids. Not me. I have to think about stuff a little more. (Reminds me of a great moment from the movie Kicking and Screaming. It's in these moments I feel a little like LBJ and I sort of stumbled into the job of parenthood and hope no one doesn't notice.)

Which is why I love lists like this from FamilyLife to exercise the parenting part of my brain...

50 Things You Can Say to Make Your Child Feel Great
Janel Breitenstein
----------
I'm proud of you. And even if you weren't so fantastic, I'd still be proud.

I believe you.

The way you _____ is such a perfect addition for our family. God knew just what we needed when He gave us you.

I know you and I haven't been seeing eye-to-eye lately. But I want to let you know that I accept you whether I agree with you or not, and I'm committed to working on our relationship so we both feel understood and secure.

I can't believe how _____ you are. I can't imagine the plans God has for you!

You know, you may not feel very _____, but God knew exactly what He was doing when He made you the way He did, and it was just how He wanted to express Himself. I love you just the way He made you. And I wouldn't have wanted Him to do it any differently.

No matter how royally you mess up, I'll always be glad you're mine, I'll forgive you, and I'll love your socks off.

I saw how you _____. I'm so proud of you.

I forgive you. And I won't bring this up again, okay?

I want to hang out with just you tonight. What do you want to do?

I remember when I _____. I felt so _____. I don't know if that's like what you're going through, but it was a tough time for me.

I'm sorry. Will you please forgive me for _____?

I got you this, just because.

Lately I've really seen you grow in the area of _____, like when you _____.

Yes, there is food in the house.

I admire the way you _______. In fact, I could learn a lot from you in that area.

That was a really wise choice.

No chores today.

I trust you.

You're really growing into a young man/woman of character. I can't tell you how exciting that is!

Go ahead and sleep in tomorrow.

I had no idea you could do that! You impress me.

What do you think?

I canceled your appointment with the dentist.

I love your dad/mom so much! He/she is so _____.

I love being around you.

I'm so glad you're home.

Thank you!

I love doing _____ with you.

You are one of the best gifts I've ever gotten. I am so humbled God gave me you.

I feel so proud when I'm with you.

You handled that so well.

I made your favorite _____.

I'm trusting that God will take perfect care of us. He's always done it before! Can we pray together about this?

With God's help, your dad/mom and I will never, ever get a divorce.

That looks great on you.

If I were in your shoes, I would feel so _____. Is that how you feel?

Would you turn your music up?

You are so well-disciplined in _____.

I sent you a big ol' care package in the mail.

That was so courageous.

Do you feel like I'm understanding you?

If there were one thing you could change about me as your mom/dad, what would it be?

You have some real gifts in the area of _____.

Let's go to Grandma's!

It is so cool to watch you grow up.

Just wanted to let you know I'm praying for you.

I miss you, but I'm glad you're having a good time!

You make me so happy just by being you.

I love you so much.

nothing free about this Spirit (Airlines, that is)

2011-04-02T11:53:00.001-04:00

So, I just finished my first and last trip using Spirit Airlines. In the hopes of saving a buck, I ended up paying just as much if not more than a flight on Delta. How did that happen? In all the extra fees.

I'm a veteran flyer on the big carriers - Delta and United - where you don't get charged to gate check a small bag. And, you get a free can of soda and a bag of pretzels. When I fly Delta, I always get the Biscoff cookies. Nice little bonus. On Spirit, you can pay for just about everything. Even for a cup of ice if you thought ahead to bring a drink to avoid the extra charge. Oddly, you can also buy a Cup of Noodles for $3 as a snack.

On Spirit, it cost $28 to gate check my bag on the front end and I had to retrieve it at baggage claim once I arrived. On my return flight home, I paid in advance on the website and got to actually take my bag and briefcase onto the plane and stow it away in the overhead bin.

Finally, the hardest part of traveling on Spirit had to be the substandard seating arrangement. On a small, older model plane, Spirit managed to cram 25 rows of seats into it. Three seats on either side of the narrowest aisle you have ever seen. I'm not a tall man, but I was absolutely crammed into this seat that nearly took the jaws of life to get me out once I arrived at my destination.

My intention was thrift but the finished result was anything but. Next time, I'll fly a proper airline. Even economy on Delta or United suddenly looks like First Class when compared to my experience on Spirit Airlines.

great thought from Tullian Tchividjian

2011-03-09T10:03:00.001-05:00

Jesus plus nothing equals everything–the gospel– is daily becoming for me more than a theological passion, more than a cognitive reality. It's becoming my functional lifeline! And it's this rediscovery of the gospel's power that is enabling me to see that,

Because Jesus was strong for me, I am free to be weak;

Because Jesus won for me, I am free to lose;

Because Jesus was Someone, I am free to be no one;

Because Jesus was extraordinary, I am free to be ordinary;

Because Jesus succeeded for me, I am free to fail.

well, that happened...

2011-03-04T04:38:00.001-05:00

Hadley is "thumbs up" pre-surgery!

I'm pretty happy to see March! I had a lot going on in January and February. Probably the most stressful thing going was my 3 year old daughter, Hadley, having surgery for her tonsils and adenoids just 2 weeks ago.

I'm simply amazed by her bravery. She was all smiles and "thumbs up" before the surgery. And, even in the recovery room, she eventually found a way to make jokes and goof off for Mom and Dad.

Probably one of the hardest things I've had to do as a Dad has to be going in to the operating room right before the actual surgery began. I got to hold her hand and let her know it was going to be OK. I was glad to be there because I didn't want my baby girl to be by herself without a parent. But, I would like to not have to repeat that if at all possible. A grace in all this was that Hadley was just so remarkably strong through it all.

Hadley is back to normal and sleeping like a champ. Life is feeling normal again - we're finally coming to the end of the ice cream reserves we stocked up on pre-surgery!

January catch up

2011-02-21T16:43:00.003-05:00

After a few days off between Christmas and New Year's, I jumped right into 2011 with both feet. Here's what I was up to...

- attended a Discipleship Retreat led by Bishop Thad Barnum in Livonia, MI

- taught church planters on "Shepherding the Shepherd" at a meeting convened at Riverview Church in Holt, MI

- by the end of the month, the winter cold I was treating was really walking pneumonia!

- preached at 2 services on January 30th - first at Christ the King Anglican Church and then at Epicenter of Worship

- being sick stretched into the beginning of February and as I write this, I'm finally 100% healthy!

I thought I had avoided my annual run-in with pneumonia in 2010 - it turns out I managed to postpone it until January of the new year! I worked very hard managing my schedule especially at Christmas so that I could stay healthy in 2010. I'm hoping this means I'm healthy the rest of 2011 - but we'll see!

I'm very grateful to the Lord for opening doors of ministry at the church where I serve as Pastor, into the community with other churches of other denominations, and serving those who might not even attend my church but have severe needs due to the economic crisis in Mid-Michigan.

flashback to five years ago

2011-01-24T22:46:00.009-05:00

My dear little Ainsley feeling really sick - pic from about 5 years ago

About 5 years ago, Amy had a Christian Education conference to attend in Canada. That meant I was in charge of Ainsley. By myself. I was already a little nervous as it was -- being the only parent "on duty." Ainsley was our first child and I wasn't quite getting the hang of the parenting thing (really, do you ever get the hang of it?).

And then, just before Amy had to leave for the airport, Ainsley was getting sick. Really sick. And I ended up getting whatever Ainsley had. So there we were - sick at home together.

There I was, the only parent caring for our child and I was at 25-50% of my energy level as I was just as sick as Ainsley was! Fast forward 6 years to Monday and I look back on all this as I spent a lot of the day just sitting with Ainsley on the couch as she was sick.

The first time this happened, it was just me and her for a few days. We formed a new bond over those few days. I really didn't know what I was doing at all -- but my darling daughter trusted me anyway. We got through our sickness and my nervousness together.

The big thing to break through was my feeling that I'm not a "natural" parent -- like my wife, Amy. I'd like to think that my parenting skills have improved over the last 6-1/2 years!

November and December catch up

2011-01-13T11:16:00.001-05:00

At the beginning of November, I was on retreat in Pawleys Island, SC for The Anglican Mission. I was blessed by times of teaching, worship and time with other leaders.

* After I returned from SC, remarkably, I had no business travel for the rest of 2010. I noticed as did my wife and kids. That'll all change soon enough now that we're in to 2011. But, I did enjoy being home for quite a few weeks in a row!

* Two - count 'em - two Thanksgiving dinners in Illinois! Enjoyed being in Peoria and Springfield to have a few days off with family.

In December:

* A lot of Civil Air Patrol work to be done with two Wreaths Across America observances. The first was on the steps of the State Capitol in Lansing and the other was in Holly, MI at the Great Lakes National Cemetery. There was an estimated 700 who showed up to participate in the wreath laying at 2000+ graves. I was honored to deliver the invocation and benediction as part of the official ceremony. By the end of December, I was promoted by the Great Lakes Region Commander to CAP Lieutenant Colonel after four years time in grade as Major.

* A lot of church work to be done leading up to Christmas Eve service. We had a full house and two making decisions to follow Christ as Savior and Lord! What a glorious time of worship and celebration.

* Christmas celebrations at home with the family. Gifts exchanged and all were blessed and pleased. I'm saving up for my Sommelier class - looks like I'll be able to go at the end of March in Columbus, OH.

* I was blessed with some time off with just my family. We stayed mostly at home and tried very hard not to be our usual efficient and productive selves. We got a chance to visit Great Wolf Lodge in Sandusky, OH. We all left pretty happy with that place - we'll be back again!

How to avoid pastoral brain drain

2011-01-13T10:49:00.001-05:00

(via Monday Morning Insight)

Ever feel totally brain-dead? Tired? Frustrated? Incapable of making a decision? In his book, "Practicing Greatness," Reggie McNeal describes three "brain killers" that deserve special attention for each and every pastor and church leader...

1) Negative people. Leaders need to be aware that when they allow themselves to be consumed by negative people (who seem so often inclined to seek them out), they allow precious mental, emotional, and spiritual energy to be drained off from other leadership pursuits. Obviously, leaders can't totally avoid negative people, but they can deflect their negativity by creating a mental boundary. So acknowledge their destructive, energy-sapping perspective, but stay on your side of the wall. And adopt a strategy of surrounding yourself with positive people as a proactive strategy.

2) Disorganization. Disorganization is a major brain drain. Not only does it consume time ("It's right here—somewhere") but it also raises anxiety ("What am I forgetting?"), which is another major cause of brain drain. Even leaders who don't count administration as a strength can make sure they don't sabotage their efforts through a lack of organization. They do this by recruiting someone to help them, by availing themselves of technology, and by deciding to expend enough personal effort to get sufficiently organized.

This discussion is not intended to make you feel guilty for finding organization to be a challenge—you just want to defend against having a level of disorganization that creates a brain drain. Of course, some disorganized people don't even know this is a problem. Their way of life just feels normal to them. You can check this by asking your administrative assistant or a coworker who has exposure to your work habits to tell you if disorganization is something you should work on.

3) Tendency to second-guess decisions. Some spiritual leaders waste energy when they allow nagging doubts, compounded by self-blame, to dog them if things don't go the way they anticipated when they made a decision. Depending on personality and cognitive style, leaders need differing amounts of information and lead times in order to make decisions. But once decisions are made, the best leaders practice little second-guessing. "Would I have made the same decision with the same information I had at the time?" is a good question for leaders to ask themselves when tempted to second-guess. If the answer is yes, then the leader can move on. If the answer is no, then the issues is to find a better way to make decisions (which McNeal talks about later in the book)…

four years ago...

2011-01-05T18:54:00.002-05:00

At church this past Sunday, I remembered that it was just four years ago that I packed up a U-Haul that carried the contents of my office with my Ford Escort hitched up on a trailer. It was an incredibly stressful drive from Kansas City to Lansing, MI.

And now, here we go into year 5!

my best meals of 2010

2010-12-27T10:39:00.013-05:00

Well, it's day one of vacation and I'm trying very hard not to do any work. I thought instead of working, I'd put this post together on my favorite meals of 2010!

Fleur de Lys - San Francisco, CA

Definitely in my Top 10 meals of all time. For my main course, I selected the Kobe beef cheeks, veal sweetbreads and broccolini.

Cafe Claude - San Francisco, CA
My wife and I were out exploring the city and found this restaurant completely by accident. We decided to give it a try for dinner and we happened to go on a night with live jazz music! I had the Filet Mignon and frites - amazing.

Yank Sing - San Francisco, CA
James Beard Award winning restaurant with the best dim sum I've ever had! My wife and I went here twice for lunch over our four days in San Francisco! I grew up with dim sum but every single item that they had to offer was so artfully prepared.

Restaurant Taste - Plymouth, CA
I was in Stockton, CA for a ministry trip and my host took me wine tasting in Amador County and we stopped in at this great restaurant between tastings. For lunch, I ordered the Trenne Pasta with Colorado lamb ragu, artisan pasta, shaved parmesan reggiano and fresh basil. Pasta cooked perfectly and the ragu was just spot on.

Joseph Decuis - Roanoke, IN

My wife and I were in Ft. Wayne, IN for a ministry trip and on our way out of town, we stopped in at this culinary gem in Roanoke. Beautiful dining room, exceptional service and we even scored the Chef's Table! Our starter was the lobster mac and cheese with caviar.

My main course was the Wagyu Ribeye. Meat perfectly cooked and the veal reduction was a great match. My only criticism was that my potatoes were lukewarm.

Port of Spain - Hoboken, NJ

Now this restaurant is probably more of a nostalgic go-to than anything else. Growing up, this was one of my favorite restaurants. Before my wife and I got married, I took her here for dinner. I just could not understand why she didn't love the place as much as I did. Probably because I'm used to it being dim, not the cleanest restaurant and pretty inattentive service. But, the food is exactly as I remembered it. I almost always order the Veal Extramena - sliced veal with peppers and sausage. When the entrees come (be prepared for a wait!), you get their homemade chips, rice and veggies for the table. Also, everything tastes better with a pitcher of sangria.

Leo's Grandevous - Hoboken, NJ

Here's another stop on the nostalgia tour - this time right in my own neighborhood. A must order for me is the Bar Pie with extra cheese and sausage. If you visit, you better like Frank Sinatra because he's all over the walls and playing nonstop on the sound system.

Taste of Tuscany - Clifton, NJ
This was a new place for me. My sister and brother-in-law wanted to bring us here before we left for Michigan and I'm so glad that we tried something new! I had their Chicken Valdostona - chicken, spinach, mozzerella and marsala sauce on a bed of beautifully prepared al dente linguine. I can't wait to go back there when I visit home!

Panzon's - Lenexa, KS
I had this meal twice during a business trip to Kansas City. Another stop on the nostalgia tour. On Tuesday nights, Amy was teaching at church. Every Tuesday night, I would take Ainsley to Panzon's for dinner and it was always a standing date night on the calendar. And, it just so happened to be the taco special night so we would both eat for just a few bucks. I always get 4 tacos - 2 chicken, 2 beef.

Jack Stack BBQ - Overland Park, KS
Crown prime ribs with cheesy corn bake. A must have in Kansas City right after you go to Arthur Bryant's (unfortunately, I couldn't get a trip in to Bryant's before I had to leave for Michigan - next time!).

Thai Princess - Okemos, MI
This restaurant has only been open for a few weeks. I'm a bit ashamed to admit that I've been here 5 times since they've opened. I think I can say that this is the best Thai food in Lansing. I've had their Pad Thai and Pad Kee Mao ("Drunken Noodles") and am determined to try some of the other traditional favorites on their menu.

Dusty's Cellar - Okemos, MI
Grilled Cobia and fries - it wasn't on the menu. The fish of the day was a cobia that was grilled with a pomegranate reduction and served with a sweet potato hash. The preparation and the side dish didn't sound great. I asked if I could have the fish simply grilled with a side of fries. It was amazing. I appreciate the Chef's willingness to go along with me on this!

A goal made is a goal met

2010-12-22T10:00:00.002-05:00

This time last year, I set some goals for 2010. One of my major goals was to focus on my health and be completely healthy in 2010. It looks like that even with a few days left in this year, this goal has become a reality.

I cut some unhealthy stuff out of my diet, replaced it with a lot more water and milk (Vitamin D was low in my last physical) and white rice (sounds strange, but it's back to the diet that I was raised on).

Another thing that has been helpful has been watching my schedule. With the exception of a retreat to South Carolina last month, I have been home with no significant overnight travel. The kids have noticed it, too. My travel schedule resumes with some big stuff going on in January and February. I've also tried to make sure that I don't overdo it on hours from the beginning of November until the home stretch of Christmas services and New Year's.

Usually at this time of the year, I'm on some heavy duty antibiotics, little or no voice and praying that I can preside at Christmas Eve. The payoff of being healthy this year has been great and something that I am very thankful for!

"he gives to his beloved SLEEP"

2010-11-16T19:26:00.001-05:00

Psalm 127:2 (ESV) - "It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep."

Last September, this verse struck me like new as I was in my devotional study. In fact, I made a note of it in my journal as I prayed to the Lord for some much needed sleep. I prayed this Bible verse to the Lord and asked Him, as His beloved, for sleep.

I have had some serious trouble sleeping for about 10 years now. The last three years, I have made it a priority of prayer to ask the Lord for sleep. At the last three healing prayer services at the Winter Conferences of The Anglican Mission, I have asked my Bishop for prayer regarding my trouble sleeping.

It seems the last four months, something pretty wonderful has happened. I've been getting sleep! With the exception of some pretty rough allergy nights, I have found myself getting drowsy and waking up knowing that I had some sleep.

I know that prayer has made a difference in this area of my life. I know that I have had to set aside "eating the bread of anxious toil" so that I can take hold of the Lord's promise of sleep.

I believe that sleep is a great start to actually entering into the Lord's rest. I am believing God for rest in this next season after some intense seasons of ministry. I wanted to give this good word about what God is doing in my life lately.

at the table

2010-11-15T19:48:00.001-05:00

We had dinner as a family tonight at 6pm. I just left our dining room table at 7:30pm. Now, one of us was up and around here and there. But, for the most part, we got a chance to catch up on our respective days, tell a joke or two and just share in conversation.

Dinner was cleared off the table and still, my 6-year-old daughter, Ainsley, and I sat at the table together as I read a magazine and she colored and told me about her day. This has to be the highlight of my very hectic day.

I do love having this time together - especially after being gone for four days traveling on a retreat.

Being at the table as a family is something that I don't have a lot of memories of from my growing up years. As a father, I feel strongly about this time together as I hope and pray that it will be a good deposit in the lives of my children. I do know it's a blessing to me personally - I figure it can't do any harm!

my video for THE NINES 2010

2010-11-05T09:58:00.005-04:00

(I've been really busy so I am just getting to this ... from September!)

The was an open call for video submissions for THE NINES, an online conference sponsored by Leadership Network. My video didn't make the cut - but the feedback I received from colleagues who checked it out was very encouraging nonetheless.

The theme was on ministry "gamechangers" and my video was on clergy/leader self care. I recorded this in the first take...

an honest prayer

2010-11-05T09:25:00.005-04:00

Toby - my favorite character on The Office

I'm just about ready to quit watching The Office. My wife is way more a fan of this show lately than I am. Last night's show where CeCe, Jim and Pam's daughter, gets baptized was filled with more groaners and unbelievable plot points than any other episode I can remember:
* Michael trying to angle in as a last-minute godfather
* Angela being accused of stealing CeCe from the church
* Michael and Andy joining a missionary trip to Mexico - then backing out 45 minutes later

But, despite one of my favorite shows going off the rails, I'm glad I watched. At the very least, watching Toby struggling as to whether or not to go inside the church.

We see Toby's struggle trying to go inside the church - then backing out. Trying to go inside the church - then backing out. By the time he finally gets inside the church, the entire worship service is over. And it's Toby inside the church alone and he looks toward the altar and stained glass window and asks very honestly of God:

"Why you always gotta be so mean to me?"

That was such an honest prayer to God. No pretense. No flowery language. I can totally relate as I've prayed this very thing myself. God answers by sending in my wife or my kids - a reminder of His grace in my life. Or, someone sends me an e-mail or calls me to encourage me out of the blue.

I resonated with the moment of honesty between Toby and God last night. Last night's episode of The Office reminded me of King David and his similar honest moments with God in The Bible:

Psalm 44:24 Why do you hide your face? Why do you forget our affliction and oppression?

Psalm 60:1 O God, you have rejected us, broken our defenses; you have been angry; oh, restore us.

Psalm 74:1 O God, why do you cast us off forever? Why does your anger smoke against the sheep of your pasture?

Psalm 78:5 How long, O Lord? Will you be angry forever? Will your jealousy burn like fire?

Psalm 80:6 You make us an object of contention for our neighbors, and our enemies laugh among themselves.

Psalm 85:5 Will you be angry with us forever? Will you prolong your anger to all generations?

Psalm 90:13 Return, O Lord! How long? Have pity on your servants!

It's hard to be broken and stripped away of pride to be able to pray with this kind of honesty. But, we need to be broken and stripped away of our pride to be able to hear God clearly and to experience His grace. Give it a try. . . you might be surprised by the results as God shows up.

September and October catch up

2010-10-29T10:43:00.010-04:00

September started off with an article of mine being published on Dr. Ed Stetzer's website. He asked me to write about bi-vocational ministry. My article went live on Sept. 2nd and the response has been overwhelmingly positive and encouraging as I've heard from pastors from all over the country and their blessings and challenges with this unique ministry.

Also in September, I had an amazing weekend of ministry in Stockton, California.

I was blessed to be the guest preacher for the 160th anniversary of St. John the Evangelist Anglican Church. What a great honor being able to preach from a historic pulpit - one of the oldest Episcopal churches on the West Coast. This church is a vibrant one that is multi-generational and multi-cultural. Being able to celebrate this milestone anniversary with the clergy and people of St. John's was such a huge blessing for me.

Other highlights from California:
Explored the wine country in Amador County, California. What a great experience of sampling wines in a region that was new to me in California:

- Terre Rouge & Easton Wineries
- Vino Noceto
- C.G. DiArie
- Renwood Winery
- Jeff Runquist Wines

And, got an amazing meal at Restaurant Taste in Plymouth, CA. For lunch I had the most amazing Trenne Pasta with Colorado lamb ragu, artisan pasta, shaved parmesan reggiano and fresh basil.

More travels in September:
- Regional Meeting of The Anglican Mission in Ft. Wayne, IN. On our way out of town, Amy and I had dinner at Joseph Decuis in Roanoake, IN.
- Rector Installation at St. Matthew's Anglican Church in Lapeer, MI.

For October, it seems like the month has been such a blur as it has gone by so quickly! One of the ministry highlights at church has to be the investiture of Samuel Makuach as a Lay Pastor in The Anglican Mission. Samuel is a native of the Sudan and he is on track for ordination to the priesthood. On Oct. 17th, he was installed as a Lay Pastor and he is officially beginning his ordination process. He has a heart to minister in Lansing to others from the Sudan and go back home for short-term missions for evangelism and bringing humanitarian relief to a part of Africa ravaged by famine and civil war.

with The Rev. Allen Kannapell (Lighthouse AMIA Network Leader) and Samuel Makuach

more stuff from October:
- visiting Naval Training Center (Great Lakes, IL) for a meeting of Wing Chaplains for the United States Air Force Auxiliary Civil Air Patrol Chaplains Corps
- enjoying a few weekends of not traveling out of town with my family
- working on some major projects for the congregation I serve
- participating in some rewarding Kingdom building work in Greater Lansing: Religious Advisors Association at Michigan State University and the Church of Greater Lansing

That's about it for now. As I'm heading into November, the name of the game is trying to stay healthy as my schedule gets really hectic leading up to Christmas. This has historically been the time of the year when I get pretty sick and it makes the holidays tougher than usual. I'm trying to make this a sickness-free Christmas as much as it's in my power to make that happen!

Pastor Appreciation Month

2010-10-22T09:08:00.039-04:00

October is Pastor Appreciation Month.

I have been blessed with cards and gifts from my parishioners this month at Christ the King Anglican Church where I serve as the Pastor.

After being at a leadership gathering where the presenter asked, "How many of you were discipled into leadership by a pastor?" Only two of us in a group of nine raised our hands - I was one of them. As I thought back, I realized that I am in ministry today because of pastors who poured into me and sometimes forecefully put me in situations that expanded my faith.

So, as it's Pastor Appreciation Month, let me share with you about the pastors who I appreciate - three Catholics, one Baptist and three Pentecostals who each made a huge impact in my life:

Father Michael V. Guglielmelli, OFM - My first pastor. This picture was taken six years ago at my younger sister's wedding where I helped officiate - and this is one of the proudest moments in my ministry so far. I received a call to the priesthood at the church where I was born and raised, St. Francis in Hoboken, NJ. Father Michael has been at this church for more than 35 years and extremely well respected in the community. He has a way of preaching memorable sermons. Some of his sermons are still with me today and I find myself quoting him from time to time. He made an enormous deposit in my spirit through his devotion to the Lord.

Father Tony Azzarto, S.J. (picture taken of him on a missions trip to Lagos) - I spent a lot of time with this man when I was in high school at St. Peter's Prep in Jersey City, NJ. So did a lot of my classmates. A rite of passage was going through the Emmaus retreat led by Father Azzarto. His office was a hangout for young men who enjoyed his company, listening to his stories about the Brooklyn Dodgers, stickball in his old neighborhood and about yet another baseball movie that we all needed to see. At my ordination to the priesthood in 2002, I received a gift in the mail from Father Azzarto. He remembered me, my call to the priesthood and my struggle to discern God's will about it in high school. He gave me a book of prayers by members of the Society of Jesus (Jesuits) and he wrote on the inside cover: "Be a man for others." When I'm having a tough day in ministry, I go to this book and read his timeless advice - one of the hallmarks of a Jesuit education.

Dr. Roland Rasmussen - I preach the way that I do thanks to this man. He showed me how to construct a message and how to give an invitation. Everytime I say the words, "The Bible says this..." it's because of Dr. Rasmussen. Always point back to the Word of God - any point is no point unless it is rooted in the Bible. I learned that from sitting under his preaching ministry. Dr. Rasmussen took me on pastoral visitation calls and he showed me how to be a guest in someone's home. He affirmed me publicly and privately as I started in ministry and he allowed me to take risks in a guarded and safe environment. I failed more than I succeeded in the early days of my preaching ministry - and I was able accept that thanks to his encouragement.

Gerard Cleffi - At Riverside Assembly of God in Jersey City, NJ, the founding pastor there made a huge impact in my life. He taught me how to serve and love completely unconditionally. We had neighbors right next door to the worship center who had absolutely no intention ever of attending the church. But, we looked after them all the time because they needed our help. Our neighbors were elderly and living alone, and they would slip and fall and we would be called to help them up. Our church had a food pantry and he always managed to get the very best donations for the needy in our neighborhood. He got beauty salons in our area to donate their very best shampoo and personal items to give to those who came to us in need of help.

Liz and Pastor Kerry Brown - At First Assembly of God, it was a privilege learning from Pastor Kerry. He was the Senior Youth Pastor there and I was his intern. For a summer, he shared his office with me and it was an incredible time together. He gave me a lot of practical ministry advice that I still follow to this day and I was assured of his trust no matter the assignment I was given - large or small. He officiated at my wedding ceremony 12 years ago - and even at my wedding, he was still giving me on the job training as to how to handle a wedding rehearsal (where I goofed off a lot) and a wedding ceremony as a pastor. A lot of training in practical ministry and administration came from Pastor Kerry.

Pastor Larry Sohn - Pastor Larry, Senior Pastor at First Assembly of God, is as real as it gets. The way that he is behind the pulpit, is how he is with his staff, is how he is with his family and so on. He is a man of prayer, a great preacher and a visionary leader. I have seen him think creatively to find solutions to problems - not always popular solutions, but he was right on. I saw him lead an enormous building campaign with a goal of it being paid off completely in three years. He led the church through an incredible period of revival in the mid-1990s. And, through it all, he was always looking for ways for me to lead at his church. He even helped me find a placement in a church in the part of the country that my wife and I were trying to get to. A great heart for the Lord and for others with staying power - he has been Senior Pastor at First Assembly for 19 years now.

Pastor Bernard Reece - He died last year at the age of 93. Pastor Reece personally took me on a lot of hospital vistiation calls. He drove very fast, had an amazingly quick wit, a comforting presence at the hospital and he was still very much in love with his wife.

This list was a bit longer than I originally thought. In fact, there might be a part 2 to this! I am so grateful that God has blessed me with great mentors in the faith.

in depth coverage on clergy stress on PBS

2010-10-07T09:57:00.001-04:00

In depth story on clergy stress by PBS' Religion & Ethics NewsWeekly:

http://video.pbs.org/video/1604688803

adventures in car ownership

2010-10-01T10:48:00.001-04:00

It's been a hectic last couple of weeks to say the least.

Just some of the highlights include:

* my car breaking down in East Lansing last Saturday
* 4 days between our mechanic and the Ford dealership trying to figure out the problem
* my broken down car being towed twice - once to our mechanic and then to the Ford dealership for service
* and then deciding between the following scenarios:

a) a $600 fix for a timing belt
b) if timing belt wasn't the problem, it could be a broken engine
c) deciding between a new engine (in the $4500 neighborhood) or a new car

To top it all off yesterday, I hit the garage door backing the minivan out as I was headed to an appointment. Thankfully, the van wasn't damaged at all. And, the garage door was fixed by a service tech for $40 and in the same day. (Whew, some great news there!) Lesson learned: don't drive stressed or anxious. It won't end well.

I don't want to speak too soon on this, but it seems like very good news on the car situation. Our mechanic gave us the scenario of needing a new engine or just scrapping the car and buying a new one. That just didn't give me peace at all.

Amy had been working all along with both our mechanic and the Ford dealership until a determination could be made that the engine itself suffered no damage. The timing belt was replaced, some spark plugs as well and there were a few little things here and there which caused the car to die in the first place. All being repaired right now at the dealership.

In all, what was originally presented to us as a problem that was going to run into the thousands of dollars (mostly through a car payment that neither me or Amy wanted), will end up costing a few hundred dollars.

Some lessons learned:
1) The Lord heard us on not wanting a car payment. We prayed on this and we got no peace on buying a new car.

2) We ended up praying and waiting for 2 days. Though, I was tempted to make a decision so that it would all be over and it could all just go away. Looking back earlier on the week, if we went out and bought a new car as soon as that was presented to us as a solution, that would have been bad stewardship.

3) Amy is learning how to be a master negotiator!

4) Don't drive stressed or anxious. It won't end well. (I know I mentioned that already but that was a lesson learned the hard way just yesterday!)

5) As helpless as I feel most times in dealing with car issues, God took care of our needs (transportation) and even our wants sometimes (no car payment).

Wednesday praise break

2010-09-08T19:43:00.001-04:00

Wednesday praise break - my 3-year-old daughter, Hadley, was singing this at the table at dinner. It's one of her favorite songs lately. Had to share...

"The Newspaper" - Best e-Reader On the Market

2010-09-01T15:50:00.002-04:00

As one in the newspaper business for a while now, I certainly appreciate this great post via McSweeney's.
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After a Thorough Battery of Tests We Can Now Recommend "The Newspaper" As the Best e-Reader On the Market.

BY JOHN FLOWERS

- - - -

For the past three weeks our team of engineers has analyzed the most popular e-readers on the market in order to confer our annual "Editor's Choice" Award.

Devices were judged on a variety criteria to see how each functioned given a set of circumstances. The criteria themselves were weighted for the final score; individual and final grades were assigned on a curve.

Each device had its strengths. For some it was speed; for others it was capacity. Some were better with shorter articles; others with longer works. And cost, as always, was a factor. But in the end, one e-reader stood out.

The Newspaper.

The most obvious advantage of The Newspaper was the size of its display, which outclassed its rivals both in terms of size and elasticity. The Newspaper display could be read at full size or, when flipped open, twice its normal width. We also had no trouble reading copy when the display was flipped to half or even quarter size. One of our engineers even figured out how to make a hat.

One drawback to The Newspaper display was that it used a much older version of the e-ink employed in some other e-reader displays. As a result, our hands became dirty and a bit oily after just a few minutes of use. However, further experimentation proved the device's sundry qualities, combined with the elasticity of its screen, to be a most effective weapon against flies. It also proved to be an adequate alternative to wrapping paper.

With the other e-readers, some of our engineers had the exact opposite experience. They reported an unwillingness to hold the device—nor let anyone else hold the device—unless their hands had been scrubbed and rescrubbed and scrubbed again. The slightest grease mark or dust particle sent these engineers into a flying panic. Several are still checked in to a facility just outside the city.

What concerned us most about The Newspaper was its lack of Wi-Fi. Information on the system was locked, while on other e-readers it was open, ubiquitous and current. Eventually, however, we found this advantage to be overstated, even misleading. Engineers using The Newspaper typically did so 30 to 60 minutes a day. Afterward, they went outside, formed relationships, and took in what life had to offer. Those using Wi-Fi-enabled e-readers tended to stay on the couch, scanning video sites for cats; eventually, downloading recipes for artichoke cheese dip they'll never use.

There were other limits to The Newspaper's capabilities. Yet, these we could live with as well. Books could be downloaded onto the other e-readers, but after several days, we became bored with this feature. It seemed, for our tastes, that too many married professors with too many tenure problems were having too many mid-life crises involving too many young mistresses. Also, we found that, even on a color monitor, we still couldn't finish Swann's Way.

Cost was a bit of a push. The Newspaper is more than some devices, when prorated over the course of two or more years, but inexpensive month-to-month. On the whole, users will have to determine which e-reader fits their budget best. However, we quickly discovered the e-reader's cheap short-term costs, coupled with its ubiquity and screen size, made for great cover when tailing people like they did in the '30s.

The Newspaper also had other, unique features that added value to the overall experience.

The device's internal security system was chief among these attractions. We left one Newspaper on a park bench for six hours and, upon return, found it in the exact same place. Another we left in a bar after a thorough evening of testing. When we came back the next afternoon, The Newspaper remained untouched. The proprietor, incidentally, was curious why engineers would return for a day-old e-reader. We tried to explain the tests, but he gave us all dirty looks. When we tried to explain the process again, he became testy and said if we were going to bring that kind of claptrap in here, we could get the hell out. We did and went elsewhere to continue testing.

Battery life was also a plus, as The Newspaper lasted 24 hours—much longer than its next-best rival.

The Newspaper also has a great number of apps already downloaded onto the device, ones we have yet to see on any other e-reader. There are the previously mentioned fly-swatting, hat-making, present-wrapping, and tailing people apps. But also the "same ol' bullshit", "who's got the sports section?" and "packing material for my eBay business" apps.

In the end, we found The Newspaper to be the least flashy and technical of the e-readers. Its value seems to be derived from a rather basic utility. And while we were generally pleased with the content, we would advise the makers of the next generation Newspaper to include a few new comic strips. That said, no other e-reader impressed us more—both in terms of convenience and fine hat-making.

June-August: where I've been

2010-08-30T16:11:00.006-04:00

Here are some highlights from my summer...

June:

baptized 3 at Christ the King Anglican Church
CAP Chaplain Corps Staff College at Wright-Patterson Air Force Base in Dayton, OH
met with people interested in our church

July:

celebrated my daughter, Hadley's, 3rd birthday
vacation to San Francisco with my wife, Amy, for our 12th wedding anniversary
met with some more people interested in our church

August:

vacation to New Jersey (my home state!) and Pennsylvania (with a stop in NYC!)
2 weekend trips to beautiful and nearby Saugatuck, MI
baptized 1 at Christ the King Anglican Church
invited to preach at the 160th anniversary of St. John the Evangelist Anglican Church in Stockton, CA
starting a conversation about the needs of pastors serving small churches with Dr. Ed Stetzer

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I was blessed with some time away (a mix of taking time off from one job in order to attend to the other and some honest to goodness vacation!), family time and some fruitful ministry.

The last of my traveling (scheduled at least!) is going to be on Sept. 12th when I preach at the 160th anniversary of St. John the Evangelist Anglican Church in Stockton, CA. I am looking forward to this opportunity to bless another church as they celebrate this huge anniversary!

spiritual conversation with a 3-year-old

2010-08-26T15:37:00.001-04:00

I was helping my 3-year-old daughter, Hadley, take a nap. She had a few questions she needed answered before she was able to drift off to sleep. This was so great - I had to share it here.

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Hadley: Did God make me?
Me: Yes.

Hadley: Was it hard for Him?

Me: No.

Hadley: How about behind my eyeball. Did He make that?

Me: Yes.

Hadley: Did God make the whole world, too?

Me: Yes.

Hadley: Was it hard for Him?

Me: No, not at all.

Hadley: OK, let's take a nap now.

Me: OK.

travel highs and lows

2010-08-17T10:11:00.000-04:00

I just realized that I'm on track to reclaiming my Gold status with Marriott (a whopping 79 nights stayed in Marriotts alone!). That means that I've been on the road a lot this last year or so. I enjoy making travel plans. I enjoy it even more when it's for vacation and not for work! Just from my last trip out of town, here are some of the highs and lows:

Highs:

Marriott, SuperShuttle and Open Table make life very easy before and even during the trip. Thankfuly, they have mobile versions of their sites which is great when I don't travel with my laptop.

Google Maps Mobile and the app for my Palm Pre was also a lifesaver.

Lows:

United Airlines not so easy to deal with. It's a long story but brand loyalty from their customers doesn't seem to mean a whole lot to them these days.

First up, each piece of checked luggage is $25 per piece each way.

Second, a change in our travel plans was nearly impossible without a $150 charge per person if we adjusted our itinerary. Instead, we opted to just buy 2 one way tickets to avoid the $3o0 charge.

Third, after a few phone calls to United, we got three different cost scenarios ranging from $600 to $1000. We were just trying to fly to St. Louis - not Paris or London.

No Rest For the Holy: Clergy Burnout a Growing Concern

2010-08-04T09:35:00.001-04:00

Another article on clergy burnout. It seems like the article that just appeared in the New York Times on this same topic is a launching pad for this article below.

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No Rest For the Holy: Clergy Burnout a Growing Concern

David Gibson

Religion Reporter

http://www.politicsdaily.com

Posted:

08/2/10

God may have rested on the seventh day, but for a growing number of his ministers, there is more work -- and stress -- than ever, and less chance to unwind. That has led to all sorts of health problems among clergy, from a lack of exercise and a rise in obesity to problems of depression and substance abuse and all the many ills of modern life that pastors spend so much time helping their congregants tackle.

Indeed, even as the folks in the pews head off to vacations this summer, priests, rabbis, pastors and ministers of all faiths often find themselves looking after those left behind and still in need of spiritual support, or using any down time to catch up on the inevitable backlog of administrative work that always takes second place to the care of souls.

"It's a huge problem," said Rich Teeters, a veteran pastor and speaker who currently serves as at Renaissance Church, a non-denominational congregation in Summit, N.J. "People's deaths and serious illnesses and troubles and marital problems -- they don't take vacations."

Last year, for example, Teeters had to break off his vacation to conduct the funeral of a friend. "In some cases you just care so deeply, you say, 'How can I sit here and enjoy the beach or the golf course when someone I love is going through hell?' If you're conscientious, you can't just tune that out. I can't."

Teeters, who also founded a church in Vail, Colo., that he led for 17 years, has been doing a better job of setting up boundaries and taking care of himself -- and attending to his family -- since a crisis about a decade ago in which the pressures of the 24/7 job skewed his priorities.

"You start thinking of things like your church being your legacy instead of your family, and you just get all out of balance, all out of whack in your own relationship with Christ, allegedly for good reasons."

Many other clergy from all denominations are still battling the high expectations, however -- from congregants and themselves -- and they are paying the price.

A national survey in 2001 of more than 2,500 Christian religious leaders conducted by Duke Divinity School showed that 76 percent of Christian clergy were either overweight or obese, 15 percentage points higher than for the general U.S. population. And other research has shown that clergy across all faiths are succumbing to higher rates of obesity, hypertension, diabetes, and other ailments than their congregants.

"There is a deep concern about stress," Rabbi Joel Meyers, former executive vice president of the Rabbinical Assembly, the international association of Conservative rabbis, told The New York Times. "Rabbis today are expected to be the C.E.O. of the congregation and the spiritual guide, and never be out of town if somebody dies. And reply instantly to every e-mail."

Catholic priests can be especially prone to problems too, given that they are unmarried and can throw themselves into their work with no family life to provide balance -- and a tendency to consume unhealthy food on the run. The past decade of scandal and crisis has also hit priests hard. In 2006, a priest support group established the Upper Room Crisis Hotline, a toll-free number for clergy who were feeling suicidal or depressed or overwhelmed, and dioceses across the country are establishing programs to try to get priests to take care of their bodies as well as their souls.

"As the bishops look at accountability of priests, that physical accountability has to be there, for their own well-being and the well-being of the people they tend to," Father David L. Toups, a priest of the Diocese of St. Petersburg, Fla., who is associate director for the Secretariat of Clergy, Consecrated Life and Vocations for the U.S. bishops, told Catholic News Service. "It's about making sure their physical and spiritual needs are being met and about them being credible witnesses for God."

Some experts say the situation may have been aggravated by the recession, as well. The down economy has not only hurt donations and created more financial challenges for pastors, but it has also created many difficulties for members of their congregation, which pastors try to address.

Even in the best of times, however, many factors can contribute to clergy health problems.

Clergy routinely work 60-hour weeks, and often have just one day off -- and not the day everyone else is off. Also, every function that a priest or rabbi or imam attends is likely to have food -- and not necessarily healthy fare -- that he or she is expected to share.

"Doughnuts will be the death of me," several Methodist pastors told researchers with the Duke Clergy Health Initiative, a seven-year project with Duke Divinity School that is looking at the health of United Methodist pastors in North Carolina.

Another problem is the clergy shortage that affects many faiths, not just the Catholic priesthood. That has left many pastors overworked, overstressed and underpaid, and too often a Lone Ranger with little support from other ministers or the congregants.

"Many clergy could not identify a close friend in the church or the community," said the Rev. Andrew Irvine at the release in 2006 of a multi-year study of Protestant clergy in six denominations in Ontario that showed many of them were burning out. "Clergy have been seen as either superhuman who needed no friends, or subhuman who could exist without them -- but certainly not human."

Moreover, like any service profession, clergy are expected to be available at all times, whether it is the dinner hour or their vacation.

"The untenable nature of the experience for me was being designated the holiest member of the congregation, who could be in all places at all times and require no time for sermon preparation," Barbara Brown Taylor, an Episcopal priest, said in describing her memoir, "Leaving Church," about her decision to abandon the pulpit. "Those aren't symptomatic of a mean congregation; those are normal expectations of 24/7 availability."

Indeed, unlike doctors or police, for example, pastors are supposed to be people who have dedicated their lives to a spiritual goal and are not expected to focus on themselves and their own welfare in the here and now.

"I really don't think people think about their pastors," said Rae Jean Proeschold-Bell, research director of the Duke Clergy Health Initiative. "They admire their pastor, and their pastor is very visible. But they want their pastor to be the broker between them and God, and they don't want them to be as human as they themselves are."

The other problem with being put on a pedestal is that "pastors then want to live up to that expectation, and they do expect more of themselves than they expect of the people in the pews," said Proeschold-Bell, assistant research professor at the Duke University Center for Health Policy. "And they're harder on themselves when they fall short."

Proeschold-Bell said the root of the stress is that for a minister, work centers around so many different relationships, and the demand that he or she be all things to all people. She compared clergy work to planning a wedding, where it is not just the amount of work but the number of people who must be kept happy that is exhausting.

In religious communities, each congregant tends to have a different view of what a cleric should be -- preacher, fundraiser, counselor, spiritual exemplar, etc. -- but few have any real conception of what the job entails. "Some congregants think their clergy work one hour a week preaching, and maybe another hour to prepare," said Proeschold-Bell.

There has been growing attention to the issue as the problem has become more obvious, at least to denominational officials if not to the congregants themselves.

A program called the National Clergy Renewal Program, funded by the Lilly Endowment, has been underwriting sabbaticals for pastors for several years; the program will provide up to $50,000 to 150 congregations in the coming year. And places like The Alban Institute in Herndon, Va., are studying the topic and offering expertise and resources to denominations trying to make their clergy healthier

But experts also say the solutions have to start at the congregational level.

Congregants can encourage pastors to take time off, and not view everything in the church as the pastor's responsibility. They can also be sure to provide healthy food at church events. But clergy must also learn find time to exercise or relax, even if it means saying no to some requests. Otherwise, they won't be healthy enough to serve their flock later on.

Rich Teeters said he finds the only way to take time off is to get out of town so that he is physically removed from the congregation and can't respond to every phone call.

But he also believes that if a clergy person shouldn't be a martyr, long hours and porous boundaries between one's work life and personal life is also an occupational hazard.

"I still regress," he said. "It's a constant struggle, it's a process. I do really well for a while, then I can get caught up in everything."

grass fed beef at Lansing City Market

2010-08-02T20:22:00.000-04:00

Here's my review of the grass fed beef at Lansing City Market. Oddly enough, it's for sale at the City Fish counter. The beef is sourced from a farm in Grand Rapids and it's grass fed. The other vendors that offer beef at Lansing City Market have grain fed options. All for a little cheaper than what City Fish is selling their grass fed offering. City Fish had a New York Strip for about $9. But, the ribeye looked the best out of what was in the cooler. Nice color, fat content was great looking and all.

Overall, the steak was good. Not great, but good as far as finding some locally sourced grass fed steak is concerned. The cost was a little over $10 for a ribeye. Not breaking the bank, but not the cheapest thing going.

The steak had a fine flavor to it - the edge tasted a bit "livery" to me. I wasn't sure if it was the fault of the meat or that of the chef. The fat throughout kept the whole thing moist.

I cooked up the steak by searing it for 2 minutes each side in canola oil. Then, I put the pan into the oven for about 8 minutes in a 400 degree oven and then take it out and let it rest under a foil tent for about 5 minutes. This is a classic steak recipe I found in the Wall Street Journal a few years ago - and why mess with a good thing?

Sorry, this isn't a rave review but it will certainly be an option that I keep in mind for the future.

NY Times: clergy suffer from higher rates of obesity, hypertension and depression

2010-08-02T10:14:00.001-04:00

Article from the New York Times on clergy burnout. This line jumped off the page:

"Members of the clergy now suffer from obesity, hypertension and depression at rates higher than most Americans."

I am blessed to have my wonderful family that loves on me and supports me in my vocation as a Pastor. I am blessed that there is an intercessory prayer group at my congregation that lifts me and my family to the Lord in prayer. I am blessed to have other Pastors who I fellowship who pray with me and encourage me in my calling.

However, I can always do better with rest and exercise. This will help sustain my ministry for the long haul.

Bottom line encouragement is this: please pray for your Pastors.

Full article is here and below:

Evidence Grows of Problem of Clergy Burnout - NYTimes.com

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August 1, 2010
Taking a Break From the Lord's Work
By PAUL VITELLO
The findings have surfaced with ominous regularity over the last few years, and with little notice: Members of the clergy now suffer from obesity, hypertension and depression at rates higher than most Americans. In the last decade, their use of antidepressants has risen, while their life expectancy has fallen. Many would change jobs if they could.

Public health experts who have led the studies caution that there is no simple explanation of why so many members of a profession once associated with rosy-cheeked longevity have become so unhealthy and unhappy.

But while research continues, a growing number of health care experts and religious leaders have settled on one simple remedy that has long been a touchy subject with many clerics: taking more time off.

"We had a pastor in our study group who hadn't taken a vacation in 18 years," said Rae Jean Proeschold-Bell, an assistant professor of health research at Duke University who directs one of the studies. "These people tend to be driven by a sense of a duty to God to answer every call for help from anybody, and they are virtually called upon all the time, 24/7."

As cellphones and social media expose the clergy to new dimensions of stress, and as health care costs soar, some of the country's largest religious denominations have begun wellness campaigns that preach the virtues of getting away. It has been described by some health experts as a sort of slow-food movement for the clerical soul.

In the United Methodist Church in recent months, some church administrators have been contacting ministers known to skip vacation to make sure they have scheduled their time, Ms. Proeschold-Bell said.

The church, the nation's largest mainline Protestant denomination, led the way with a 2006 directive that strongly urged ministers to take all the vacation they were entitled to — a practice then almost unheard of in some busy congregations.

"Time away can bring renewal," the directive said, "and help prevent burnout."

The Episcopal, Baptist and Lutheran churches have all undertaken health initiatives that place special emphasis on the need for pastors to take vacations and observe "Sabbath days," their weekday time off in place of Sundays.

The Lilly Endowment, a philanthropic foundation based in Indiana, has awarded grants of up to $45,000 each to hundreds of Christian congregations in the past few years, under a project called the National Clergy Renewal Program, for the purpose of giving pastors extended sabbaticals.

And while recent research has focused largely on mainline Protestant churches, some Jewish leaders have begun to encourage rabbis to take sabbaticals.

"We now recommend three or four months every three or four years," said Rabbi Joel Meyers, a past executive vice president of the Rabbinical Assembly, the international association of Conservative rabbis. "There is a deep concern about stress. Rabbis today are expected to be the C.E.O. of the congregation and the spiritual guide, and never be out of town if somebody dies. And reply instantly to every e-mail."

Some nondenominational evangelical Christian ministers have embraced a similar approach, outlined in two best-selling books by the Rev. Peter Scazzero, pastor of the New Life Fellowship Church in Elmhurst, Queens.

Mr. Scazzero, 54, is the unofficial leader of a growing counterculture among independent pastors who reject the constant-growth ethic that has contributed to the explosion of so-called mega-churches.

In the books, "Emotionally Healthy Spirituality" and "The Emotionally Healthy Church," he advocates more vacation time for members of the clergy, Sabbath-keeping, and a "rhythm of stopping," or daily praying, that he learned from the silent order of Trappist monks.

Mr. Scazzero said that depression and alienation from his wife and four children prompted him a half-dozen years ago to try living more consciously and less compulsively.

"It's hard to lead a contemplative life on Queens Boulevard," Mr. Scazzero said. "But the insight I gained from the Trappists is that being too 'busy' is an impediment to one's relationship with God."

Clergy health studies say that many clerics have "boundary issues" — defined as being too easily overtaken by the urgency of other people's needs.

Dr. Gwen Wagstrom Halaas, a family physician who is married to a Lutheran minister and who wrote a 2004 book raising the alarm about clergy health ("The Right Road: Life Choices for Clergy"), described the problem as a misperception about serving God.

"They think that taking care of themselves is selfish, and that serving God means never saying no," she said.

Larger social trends, like the aging and shrinking of congregations, the dwindling availability of volunteers in the era of two-income households, and the likelihood that a male pastor's wife has a career of her own, also spur some ministers to push themselves past their limits, she said.

The High Mountain Church of the Nazarene in North Haledon, N.J., started with 25 members 10 years ago and grew to 115 before its pastor, the Rev. Steven Creange, noticed strains in his marriage and decided to slow down.

Mr. Creange said he and his wife feel lavishly rested — and much happier — since they began observing Sabbath days on Fridays and making occasional weekend getaways.

"I just don't go to every graduation and every communion anymore," he said. "And people accept it."

In May, the Clergy Health Initiative, a seven-year study that Duke University began in 2007, published the first results of a continuing survey of 1,726 Methodist ministers in North Carolina. Compared with neighbors in their census tracts, the ministers reported significantly higher rates of arthritis, diabetes, high blood pressure and asthma. Obesity was 10 percent more prevalent in the clergy group.

The results echoed recent internal surveys by the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, which found that 69 percent of its ministers reported being overweight, 64 percent having high blood pressure and 13 percent taking antidepressants.

A 2005 survey of clergy by the Board of Pensions of the Presbyterian Church also took special note of a quadrupling in the number of people leaving the profession during the first five years of ministry, compared with the 1970s.

Roman Catholic and Muslim clerics said the symptoms sounded familiar.

"We have all of these problems, but imams are reluctant to express it because it will seem like a sign of weakness," said Imam Shamsi Ali, director of the Jamaica Muslim Center in Queens. "Also, mosques do not pay much and many of them work two jobs."

Catholic canon law requires priests — "unless there is a grave reason to the contrary" — to take a spiritual retreat each year, and four weeks of vacation.

That vacation regulation has led Msgr. Gus Bennett of Brooklyn to take a camping trip on horseback in the Wyoming wilderness with friends every year for 30 years.

Monsignor Bennett, 87, a canon lawyer, now semi-retired, who spent most of his working years setting up and managing the pension plan for priests and lay employees of the Diocese of Brooklyn, says he has always felt his religious side to be most alive during those nights in Wyoming, "sleeping on the ground, under the whole of creation."

He does not know how it affected his health. "I just know it made it easier to come back and jump into the books," he said.

Sam Rainer on "What I Learned from Being a Bi-vocational Pastor"

2010-07-26T01:08:00.001-04:00

Is it just me or are Bi-vocational Pastors getting some positive attention lately? (Asked the Bi-vocational Pastor on this blog!)

Great blog post by Sam Rainer on "What I Learned from Being a Bi-vocational Pastor"

http://samrainer.wordpress.com/2010/07/25/what-i-learned-from-being-a-bi-vocational-pastor/

or read below. . .

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What I Learned from Being a Bi-vocational Pastor

Published July 25, 2010

Today I attended the funeral of a 95 year-old man. He was a bi-vocational minister. He paid the bills by working as an electrician. But his calling drove him to the tent revivals and churches.

Bi-vocational pastors serve outside the spotlight. In my denomination, however, approximately half of all pastors are bi-vocational. They are many, but they get only a fraction of attention given to pastors of larger churches. They receive little recognition, but they are the workhorses of churches that do much of the heavy lifting.

Though I now pastor full-time, I served for two years as a bi-vocational pastor of a tiny church in central Kentucky. We started with 6 people. It was my first pastorate, and I had no idea what I was doing. I drove 2 hours one-way to get there. My preaching was awful, and I had to lead music with a karaoke machine while my girlfriend (now wife) played an out-of-tune piano. The church was dying. The people were tired. The building was falling apart. And there was no air-conditioning.

I loved that church. Still do.

The people forgave my less-than-spectacular sermons. I encouraged them to reach outward. And, truly by the grace of God, the little church grew. Not to 500. Or 250. Or even 100. More like 40. But we knew God was working. It was great.

God revealed much to me while I was their pastor. I know I learned more from them than they got out of my sermons. I've still got a long way to go, but let me share with you a few things I figured out during my short time as a bi-vocational pastor.

Ministry is not about ideals. I had several ideals, a big vision, and grand hopes for the little church. My plans were not wrong. But the people had heard it all before from other short-term pastors. I learned that before a church family follows the grand vision of a new pastor, you must first love them where they are.

Ministry means working alongside people. One of our first projects was to paint the church and install air-conditioning. If I hadn't shown up with a paintbrush in hand on work day, then I would have lost the respect of the people. At the end of the work day, the folks gave me the honor of painting the church bell red—it was a big deal.

Ministry requires you to laugh at yourself. I made more mistakes than I had successes as a younger pastor. And the people knew it. You can laugh at yourself and help everyone feel comfortable. Or you can pretend and make everyone feel awkward (or angry).

Ministry means loving people deeply. I will never forget the gifts people gave Erin and me when we left the small church. The church was poor, but the people lavished love on us. I didn't deserve it, but they gave anyway. The love between a church and pastor should be like nothing else. I pray they understand how much I loved them.

I wasn't a great bi-vocational pastor (or even close), but there are many who have served faithfully for years. They love their churches. Their churches love them. And God's Kingdom is larger because of their faithfulness.

Dr. Ed Stetzer on balance and rest in the ministry

2010-07-13T18:26:00.003-04:00

I had the great pleasure of talking with Dr. Ed Stetzer by phone yesterday. He was seeking input from small church pastors and we talked about ministry, bi-vocational work and even the Anglican Church in North America and the Anglican Mission in the Americas.

Before I spoke with Ed, I just blogged about rest here. And, it was fresh on my mind when we spoke yesterday as this being one of the big challenges facing the pastor of the small church. He just posted these thoughts on balance and rest in the ministry on his own blog and it's really worth a read:

http://www.edstetzer.com/2010/07/reflecting-on-balance-and-rest.html

who needs a box of donuts when you can have...

2010-07-13T09:02:00.002-04:00

a box of burritos from Chipotle. Now, I've got to figure out what meeting I can bring this box of burritos to...

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Jack's World

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Another article on clergy burnout. It seems like the article that just appeared in the New York Times on this same topic is a launching pad for this article below.

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